Category Archives: Connecting

Communication, Connecting, Leadership, Valuing Differences, Vision

Bridging the Divide: The Power of Honest Conversations in Montana

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What a week it’s been, and I was only watching from home! The energy, joy, and revitalized spirit of the Democratic Party in Chicago was palpable, even here in Montana.

I capped off the week on Sunday by attending The Blue Jam, a local event supporting Democratic candidates in the Flathead Valley. The vibe was infectious—speeches that were raw, real, and personal, with candidates sharing their reasons for running. No flashy rhetoric or attacks, just genuine conversations. Although the turnout seemed small, I later learned it was the largest gathering of its kind in the area for quite some time.

Love this song played at The Blue Jam here in Montana

Living in a predominantly red state like Montana, I didn’t expect such enthusiasm. Yet, the Democratic message from the National Convention resonated with me:

  • Public education for all
  • Affordable and accessible healthcare, including Medicare
  • The right to autonomy in healthcare decisions
  • A nation where hard work leads to a decent wage, homeownership, and a family-friendly life
  • Protecting LGBTQ+ rights

These ideals felt more aligned with Montana’s values than what I’d seen at the Republican Convention a few weeks earlier.

So, why is Montana such a strong red state? Personally, I lean towards a more “purple” approach—less about parties and more about people. I believe the issue lies in how we consume information: micro sound bites that polarize rather than foster meaningful dialogue.

At The Blue Jam, I repeatedly heard that when candidates take the time to connect with voters, even lifelong Republicans are open to voting for a Democrat—not because of party allegiance, but because of the genuine conversations.

This experience reinforced my belief in the importance of creating more opportunities for dialogue and connection. It’s not just about saving democracy; it’s essential for our collective well-being.

I want to understand why so many of my neighbors support a Trump/Vance ticket. I want to discuss public lands, healthcare, housing, wages, and education—not through the lens of political rivalry, but through real, honest conversations.

I realize that labels and assumptions—like associating a Confederate flag with racism or dismissing liberals as “taking over”—oversimplify complex realities. These snap judgments, while they may hold a grain of truth, do more harm than good.

It’s easier to hurl an attack than to engage in a curious, vulnerable dialogue. I’ve been advised not to display signs for my preferred candidates due to potential risks. Many avoid political discussions altogether, whether at home, work, or among friends. I even heard about a study from Harvard where students fear speaking their minds.

This is not healthy for our society.

We need to get back to talking with one another, understanding each other’s perspectives, and finding common ground. Only then can we truly move forward.

Join me at my next “Dialoguing for Democracy” event, Thursday, September 5th at 7PM MT, and let’s start creating healthier, more connected communities.

Communication, Connecting, Connection, Valuing Differences

Beyond Gold: Embracing Kindness and Dialogue in a Divided World

Amazing moment!

There’s a lot on my mind and in my heart these days. I’ve always loved the Olympics, not just for the competition but for the spirit of the games. However, I’ve sometimes been disappointed by the intense focus on winning and the pursuit of gold medals. This time around, though, it feels different. Maybe it’s because of Paris’ exceptional hosting. They’ve done a remarkable job. Or perhaps it’s because, after the isolation of the Covid Olympics, athletes are now able to have their families present, connect with teammates, and simply enjoy each other’s company.

Or maybe, in a world marked by fractures and conflict, these athletes are doing their best to show us a different way of being. Whatever the reason, it could also just be me. I find myself feeling more kind, open-hearted, and curious. I’m less driven by fear and more by love—love for myself, my family, friends, and even those I consider adversaries. I’m seeing the world through a different lens.

It’s intriguing to witness the care, joy, and cross-cultural connections unfolding in sports, especially when contrasted with the divisiveness and hostility often seen in politics. I believe Vice President Kamala Harris is bringing a new possibility to the table. Her team has certainly shaken things up. But as we look ahead to the next few months, I’m not entirely confident that the political environment will lead to significant change. True change, I think, will only come from us—the people—engaging in conversations and dialogue.

As I’ve mentioned before, finding unbiased coverage of issues can be challenging. But even with what’s available, we can still work towards understanding and making decisions that resonate with our hearts. When coaching executives, I often emphasize the importance of knowing your “ME”—understanding who you are, the beliefs you hold, and what you value. I also encourage them to move beyond being right or fixed in their views. Get feedback and listen without defending.

That’s essentially what I believe we all need to do. We need to understand the world we’ve built and seek out dialogue with as many people as possible. This helps us get clearer on what matters to our families, neighbors, and communities. Don’t just vote based on a soundbite or party affiliation. Do the work. That’s what democracy is truly about, and it’s what’s at stake.

Communication, Connecting, Life Experiences, Vision, Voice

My Political Roller Coaster: Reflections on Recent Events and Real Power

Wow, what a whirlwind it’s been lately. In such a short time, we’ve seen an assassination attempt, a fleeting call for unity, and then back to the usual political attacks. People putting bandages over their ear in some type of solidarity—how surreal is that? President Biden initially stood firm, refusing to back down, but just this past week, he stepped out of the process.

And then there’s VP Kamala Harris, now endorsed to lead the Democratic ticket. Honestly, my phone is going crazy with messages. It’s been an assault on my senses, but in some ways, I’m relieved Biden stepped down. Do I believe Kamala Harris can defeat Trump? Absolutely, and she should.

I say this because I don’t see Trump as genuiene, honest, or powerful in any way. My biggest issue with Trump is his ego. He rants, he’s mean, and he viciously attacks anyone who calls him out or challenges him. I’ve never heard him apologize or admit to any wrongdoing.

I don’t get the fear and fight that underlies so much of what I read. Yes, I want a strong country, but I also want relationships with people from different backgrounds, different countries. I don’t want to gloss over our mistakes—like slavery, the long battle for women’s rights, LGBTQ+ rights, and racial equality. These are critical parts of our history, and people have fought hard for their rights. We can’t lose those stories. Even when the stories make us look bad , those shouldn’t be forgotten or untold.

Education needs to be available to everyone and needs to be a space that allows for differences and develops young people into discerning individuals where there can be conflicting views and young people see a future that includes them.

Trump seems to equate fear and rage with power. But real power isn’t based on fear or threats. It’s about clarity, commitment, and the willingness to listen and evolve. It means moving beyond our limited beliefs and small-mindedness to something greater.

Honestly, I’m not sure if the Democrats have what it takes to be truly different. But right now, we’re in a moment of chaos, and I think that’s good. It’s a place to start. We learn when we’re thrown into the unknown. Let’s embrace this uncertainty and see if we can become a different country. We don’t have to be mighty; we can be strong and compassionate. Now, wouldn’t that be something?

Who is writing or running on that platform? I know we’re not there yet, but I believe we could be.

Communication, Connecting, Leadership, Vulnerability

My Letter to Joe Biden

Dear Joe

I know you have a lot on your mind and that you are getting a great deal of pressure from many colleagues and follow politicians regarding what you should or shouldn’t do.

My voice is not likely to be one you will hear with all the noice.  But I still wanted to write.

I don’t have the answer.  You’ve been an okay President with a lot of stuff to deal with and honestly, I would never sign up for your job.

However, I don’t think you are dealing with this current situation very well. You seem very defiant and defensive about that horrible debate night.

People have concerns and most of us don’t really want to hear you say this isn’t going to be a problem.

It is a problem.  You are 81.  You show some signs of cognitive decline.  People working for you say you are good between 10AM and 4PM but you have a job that demands a lot longer hours.

I’m not saying you can’t be President.  But deal with your situation and address people’s concerns. 

You have always seemed like someone who is willing to have difficult conversations and talk across the table.  But you aren’t doing that in this situation.  At least not for the public to see and be a part of.  You seem hell bent on running.  At least dialogue and talk about the pros and cons. 

I am not sure I could ‘not vote for you’ because the alternative is a felon and that really is just wrong in my view.

But our country should have a better choice than an aging man in denial or a felon.

This isn’t all on you.  Shame on us for getting to this point.  We call ourselves a democracy, but we have been showing some serious cracks in that reality for a while now.

Still, you say your campaign is about saving democracy.  I think if that’s your platform you need to start listening to people and having the difficult conversations.  Talking about the concerns and addressing them.

It’s true, the people might want you to step down, but at least in listening and talking  with people openly, you are practicing democracy.

I think that shows courage and vulnerability.  Both things, I have at times seen in you.

Show up with that now.  Please don’t wait until is too late.

If democracy is going to be saved it isn’t about what happens in November but what we start doing now as people to demonstrate respect in the power and opinion of all people, not just our people, or politicians, or plays for power. 

We need to talk, listen and get real.  Otherwise, democracy is lost.

I don’t need you to write, but I do sure wish you would show up and be real.  

Susan

Business, Communication, Connecting, Connection

Soul Camp

Link https://equuscoach.com/soul-camp/for Soul Camp:

Okay so I signed up, booked my flight and found a TINY airbnb in Coronado, CA for Soul Camp – without much other than a desire to reconnect with horses and my Equus colleagues.

People asked me on my FB post – what is Soul Camp?  Now here I thought I should look myself.  Above is the intro and I love it.

In many ways I know I am following my heart’s desire and doing many things I love.  I also know any experience I have with the horses does help me listen on an even deeper level.

These days much of my work is not directly Equus related.  This is one of the reasons I wanted to reconnect with the human Herd of my Equus Training.  I couldn’t make the dates for Coaches so signed up for Soul Camp. (I admit three days at the beach San Diego was a big draw as well!)

We, meaning CrisMarie, me and our business Thrive, are always in some form of ‘what’s next’.  Maybe it’s related to new clients, or new programs, or simply upgrading and resetting ourselves – there’s always something ‘changing’.

This past year a great deal of the more personal aspect of that has been through doing various Dr Joe programs and more recently diving into a Course in Miracles.  This has stirred the pot so to speak for me.  Primarily because I do firmly believe life is much more about connection, consciousness, and joy than it is about ego, success, and surviving. 

Sometimes I get myself caught in either ‘fighting’ against the surviving and driving or I get drawn into fear and angst of what seems like the daily headlines and wallow in some simple pleasure-seeking addiction to make the pain go away.

In May and June, I tapped back into the work I love most.  We did a wonderful Couples Alive program that filled my tank in terms of creating intimacy and connection while also self-defining and be a whole person.

I came away realizing I want more of that in our corporate work.  I know it is much harder in business and even in just day-to-day living to tap into that level of intimacy and connection.  But when I do it is so powerful and meaningful, that I know it is better than any ROI in terms dollars and numbers.

What I want to reflect and work on during my Soul Camp program is what stops me from reaching out and finding those clients, leaders and team that have that desire.

I know there are people out there that want that intimacy and realness and don’t know how to possibly do work/business/life differently.  I also know I can shine and create spaces for people to tap into the power of connection, coherence, and intimacy in there significant relationships at home and at work.

So that’s my desire for these few days.  I want to work on communicating, articulating and shining a light out into the world that invites those people to connect so we can work together.

I’ll keep you posted on what I discover. 

Connecting, Leadership, Life Experiences, Vulnerability

A Good Run For My Heart

It’s been quite a run. Yet very little running was done.

Between May to now has been filled with leading Haven programs, Couples Alive, Come Alive and a special offering for Women in the First Nations community, combining their wisdom with some of the Haven essence.

Usually when I am leading, running is my path for balancing and clearing my energy. I believe it helps me stay connected to my heart. This month taught me there’s other ways and maybe better ways for open-hearted leading.

For me personally, this run has been amazing. Up north the team included my dear friend and colleague, Leona Gallant. We go way back. We worked together at Tillicum Haus teaching the Addiction and Family Violence programs. It was wonderful reconnecting for the First Nations women week.

Our trip didn’t go quite as planned and each day offered opportunities to surrender my ideas of how the program would unfold and go totally in the moment with who was present. There was a lot happening within the community, as well, smoke from wild fires, that made for a heaviness in my chest and lungs. However, each member of the team was committed and the women who came bought their hearts, tears, anger and stories forward in ways that lifted each of us and ended in beautiful moment of creating on canvas.

The Team Tracy, Me, Leona and Christina

Home again, I found I wasn’t able to do my normal running and exercising, my lungs just wouldn’t allow for that effort. The goodness in that may have been finding other ways to connect and balance my body, heart and mind before leaving for a couples weeks at the Haven.

Couples Alive came first. It was a wonderful experience. The team included Bob and Ruth, dear friends and long-time Haven faculty. They shared they hadn’t been up on the island for a number of years and it was awesome to have them back, sharing the wisdom from their relating.

I loved the dance of leading with CrisMarie. We learn and grow as we lead. It’s a definite experience of giving and receiving with the team and the couples who share so deeply.

Beautiful sunset last night of Couples Alive

Then Come Alive. Always a special experience, as it was the first program I took at the Haven and started my transformation in relating and responding.

There were moments again where things didn’t go quite as planned. However, that’s a big part of what I love about leading at Haven. I have to both lead and surrender. It’s an amazing dance between being in a role and being real and human.

The team with me was wonderful. As always we were doing our work to ensure we could stay present and support building and holding a space for self-responding and relational learning.

In the end, I left full from my time on the island. This time not as exhausted as I have at times been in the past. Maybe because i wasn’t running to settle my energy. Instead I found myself sitting, silent, walking and relating between sessions. Something to consider even as my lungs return to a more happy place.

Taking the stage as. Leadership Flathead Graduation Speaker

My reentry this time involved being the speaker for Leadership Flathead graduating class. It was an honor to be invited and I said yes just before starting my run. Wasn’t able to plan a thing until I returned home just in time to put it together. Again something I’d usually run or ride to get clarity before writing but this time I sat, I reflected and when I got a clear message I made some notes. I was vulerable and nervous but it worked for me. I just needed to get out of my ego space and into heart and that always works – living, leading or speaking.

I don’t doubt I’ll be back on my bike and taking runs in the woods. However, I want to remember that my body doesn’t need to be fit, trim and over-exercised to be a vessel for the work I am called to do. That work comes from the heart and heart health is more relational and real than looking good and making my MOVE goal.

Now relaxing after a cool evening bike ride! with my honey!

Connecting, Life Experiences

The Time Between Trains

Last night of Couple’s Alive

Sitting here at MadRonas Coffee shop on Gabriola. Dropped CrisMarie off at Silva Bay for her journey back to Whitefish.

Couples Alive was amazing, fulfilling and it’s hard to let her go. Even hard for me to stay. I know I’ll be super excited to step and start Come Alive tomorrow evening. And I want to honor, soak and digest Couples Alive. I always learn and discover so much in the process of leading, being and growing alongside CrisMarie and each of the couples in the room.

Haven has taught be so much about aliveness, relating, being and doing.

In the in between, I’ve had a deep dive with a friend and colleague here at the coffee shop. We talked Haven, our lives, the ways we have shifted and changed over the years. What’s real and happening in our lives now. It is one thing I love about my connections here. They go deep even when it’s been months, years. Time drops away with the real-ness and willingness to connect.

Later I’ll be having dinner with another couple and I look forward to talking below the surface and connecting.

It’s a part of life I treasure.

It is so easy in life to be busy and getting stuff done. Sometimes that can be great. However, I like a conversation or connection that takes me out of the day to day and even out of time.

Usually that involves getting out of my head and into heart. It’s not always about talking feelings though – it’s more about energy versus matter.

Sometimes that can happen out walking in the woods with my pups. It can happen on my bike. It can happen simply breathing and noticing the world and threads weaving all around me.

It can happen in conversation and sometimes that is the hardest entry moment, unless I am really tracking my agenda, my projections and just how I am putting the pieces together.

And realize whoever I am talking to is doing their own inner reality creating.

Words, time and perceived space can make it seem like we are separate. Yet, energetically we’re not. Just in our minds and stories. Not in our hearts and energy.

That’s why a walk with a horse or my dogs is sometimes the best path to take to reconnect to the world around me.

Well that and being here at the Haven where I learned to navigate between my worlds, inner and outer. Actually came to understand energy and the importance of using my mind, breath and my heartbeats in living this life.

Time to be off. A Reiki appointment is calling me. Maybe a hot tub. Maybe a nap. I’ll put this out in world and see what this post weaves in it’s travels.

I imagine I’ll have more to share. And feel free to let me know what you do between trains.

Connecting, Connection

AI – What Do You Think of Us Humans?

I’ve been developing my relationship AI. So I hought I’d ask AI what makes us humans unique.

AI Answer:
Humans possess several characteristics that set them apart from other species:

  1. Complex Language and Communication: Humans have developed intricate systems of communication, including spoken and written language, allowing for the exchange of complex ideas, emotions, and knowledge.
  2. Cognitive Abilities: Humans exhibit high levels of cognitive abilities, including reasoning, problem-solving, critical thinking, and abstract thought. This allows them to innovate, create art, develop technology, and adapt to diverse environments.
  3. Self-awareness and Consciousness: Humans possess self-awareness, the ability to reflect on their own thoughts, feelings, and actions, and to recognize themselves as individuals separate from others. They also have a sense of consciousness, allowing them to perceive and experience the world subjectively.
  4. Culture and Social Structures: Humans create and participate in complex social structures and cultural systems, including institutions, norms, beliefs, customs, rituals, and traditions. These aspects of culture shape human behavior and identity, fostering cooperation, coordination, and collective learning.
  5. Tool Use and Technology: Humans are adept at using tools and developing technology to manipulate their environment and solve problems. This capacity for tool use has enabled humans to adapt to diverse habitats and thrive in various ecosystems.
  6. Emotions and Empathy: Humans experience a wide range of emotions, including joy, sadness, fear, anger, and love. They also demonstrate empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, which fosters social bonds and cooperation.
  7. Capacity for Innovation and Creativity: Humans possess a remarkable capacity for innovation and creativity, enabling them to develop new ideas, inventions, and solutions to challenges. This creativity is expressed in various domains, including art, music, literature, science, and technology.
  8. Symbolic Thinking and Abstract Reasoning: Humans engage in symbolic thinking, using symbols, language, and abstract concepts to represent and manipulate the world around them. This ability underlies many aspects of human culture, communication, and cognition.

Overall, it is the combination of these characteristics—language, cognition, self-awareness, culture, tool use, emotions, creativity, and symbolic thinking—that makes humans unique among Earth’s species.

Okay – we are awesome – right? 

Makes for a great story.

I’m not as robust in my data collection as AI, so my answer to that question about what makes us unique is simpler:  story making and story-telling.

Our imagination and cognitive abilities have made us great.

It has also bought us to a point of possible extinction. 

I do know I personally am not getting out of here alive.  But I’d like to think humans could continue long after I’m gone.

However, I think it is going to take some humility and collaboration for that to happen. Not just with each other but with all living beings.

We tend tell our stories as though we are the greatest.  We likely have trained AI to make us sound that way as well.

That we can remember and tell stories over time is awesome.  However, the degree to which we believe our stories as truths can and does cause a great deal of separation, pain, and suffering.

Isn’t that often the case.  A super strength is also an Achilles heel.

But what if we could dial back our need to be right, win, dominate, compete.  I didn’t say get rid of – just dial back.

Maybe if we simply dial back our certainty. 

It’s not what is known that is going to create sustainability;  it’s actually embracing and stepping into what is unknown.

However, doing that demands letting go of control, safety, and certainty.

We humans, we’re not very good at that.

Maybe we could be.

Wouldn’t that be amazing.

Connecting, Connection, Vision, writing

Inspired By Tracy & I am Not Alone

I am inspired by Tracey Chapman and this isn’t the first time.

Best moment of the Grammy’s was when Tracy Chapman joined Luke Combs to sing Fast Car.

That was a magical moment on so many levels.  White guy, county singer and black woman, musical legend. 

I watched the clip of Luke Combs talking about his reasons for redoing the song.  He loved the song, grew up listening to it and it was one of the first songs he played.  That’s something.

I’m not a music star, country or otherwise.  However, Tracey Chapman sure did influence my life and her song, Promise, was one of the first songs I sought to learn on the guitar. 

Tracy Chapman I believe has inspired many. Her songs speak to the soul and connect, across devides.

Now that this moment has happened, I am sort hoping Tracey may make more musical appearances. 

Sounds like she is a special woman who lives a life out of the public scrutiny.  Maybe not now.  With people just learning she lives in ________ (don’t want to add on so just ___) .  Her solitude might be shaken.  I hope not.

I have a story that she is still writing songs and music.  Maybe even playing for non-advertised audiences.

Her song writing and music remind me of my own writing – yes there are books and articles for press, public and broad consumption, but that’s not why I write and I am guessing never why she wrote, sang and shared.

I write because it’s sooths an ache or fills a deep need/desire to connect and not be so alone.

I don’t know for sure but that’s what I saw on that stage the other night.  Two amazing singers, worlds a part in many ways – bridging through a song.  All of us getting to share in that special moment.

I wish could invite her to the stage here in Whitefish, MT.  Wouldn’t that be cool.

Maybe that’s a LONG shot but in the meantime, I have gotten back out my guitar and I’m practicing my favorite Tracy tune: Promise. 

No worries I won’t share my version with you but here’s a Tracy version: