Come Alive – Self-Responsible Relational Living & Leading!

In May, CrisMarie and I had the chance to do a TEDx Talk: Conflict – Use It, Don’t Defuse It! right here  Whitefish.

It was a bucket list experience for me.  Yes, doing a TEDx talk was one piece of that, but being able to be on the stage with my life and work partner, CrisMarie, and sharing my own transformational experience from my first Come Alive at the Haven was the bucket list part.

When I arrived at the the Haven in 1984, I was dying.  When I left, I was awake and alive!  Of course, the journey really wasn’t a five day transformation. Yes, the tumors were gone, but that didn’t mean I had a clue how to keep living it!! What I did know was that something else was possible, and I wanted more of that!

I had an experience that woke me up to the possibility of living beyond my limiting story and circumstances.  In other words, I  was embracing the possibility of self-responsible relational living!  Now, that was, and is, a practice, and frankly, a spiritual one well worth pursuing!

That concept of embracing self responsibility was not easy.  I still have a quick twitch tendency to blame – either myself, others, God, or the universe.  That blame is an easy escape route from being connected to the world around me.  When I am unwilling to respond, I stay trapped in my reaction, or in a right/wrong place, and as a result, my world is isolated and quite small.

For me, the key was curiosity!  Getting out of that right/wrong trap is still a practice I have to embrace daily, however, now, it’s exciting and very enlivening!

The relational part took even longer to fully embrace and is big reason I was so thrilled to do our TEDx Talk: Conflict – Use It, Don’t Defuse It! together.  When you watch it you will see how relational it is. We start out personally. We make mistakes, sing a song, and a flub the very last line. It is funny and poignant. At least, we hope that is your experience in watching it.

To me, it was definitely real and relational.  It is that relational piece which  has made the lessons of Haven spiritual and sustaining.

Today, CrisMarie and I at thrive! inc., work with leaders and teams.  I am thrilled to be taking self-responsible relational living to self-responsible relational leadership!

I love that the roots of who we are in the world are grounded in that transformational experience I had years ago in a Come Alive. I also love that in many ways the concept is simple. Live and lead with vulnerability and curiosity – embrace our differences and use conflict to change/connect the world!

For me that is what Come Alive offers –  a wake up call to action.  A chance to change my world through surfacing conflict and using it as an energy source for transformation, creativity and innovation.

That is also the essence of becoming a self-responsible relational leader!

If you are stuck or frustrated in your life, I suggest taking a Come Alive!  Try on self-responsible relational living! Come join us for our Come Alive starting August 30, 2015.  (Next dates March 6-11, 2016)

And it if you are a leader, frustrated by your team’s results, give thrive! inc. a call and consider embracing self-responsible relational leadership!

Want to see the TEDx Talk Conflict – Use It, Don’t Defuse It!  Watch it, share and spread it! We think it is an idea worth spreading!