Leadership – Living it, Loving it, Learning within it
Pop-Ups for People
Pop-Up Communities
I think this is my work—my calling.
For a long time, I judged myself for not being a “good” community member. I thought that meant having lifelong friends, deep roots in one place, and strong ties to where I lived or worked. But my life hasn’t followed that pattern.
I’ve never worked in one company for decades. I don’t have children. I lived on Gabriola for ten years, Whitefish, MT since 2008. My longest-standing commitment may be be to The Haven, where I arrived in 1983. Over the years, I’ve been a participant, cleaner, registrar, intern, assistant, leader, part of the Education Steering group, and now the Education Council. But I don’t live there—and I still remember Ben saying, “This is not a community—it’s a business.”
Thrive! has been my longest work engagement—since our 2002 launch—yet it has evolved through many versions of clients, services, and ways of working.
I transformed my life at Haven, learned loving in my relationship of 25 years with CrisMarie but community I still struggled to figure out why that seemed so hard.
Recently, after a coaching session, I started thinking about “community” differently. I realized I’m very good at creating pop-up communities.
A pop-up community can be anything—a project, a start-up, a couple, a family, a movement, even a counrty. The United States itself began as one: people united around the idea of freedom. When Washington became the first President, he didn’t want the job, but there was a group of people determined to create something new, free from Britain and the Church. They had to figure out how to operate as a community. The Declaration of Independence and their efforts to separate church and state were attempts—imperfect but remarkable—to protect freedom.
The two greatest challenges to any community or organization are time and size.
- In the early days, when the vision is fresh, energy flows and possibility feels limitless.
- Over time, those with history become protective or defensive of what they helped build.
- As size grows, a few leaders end up trying to defend and direct something that may need to evolve.
Every project, business, or relationship has to keep changing—recognizing both its strengths and its growing pains.
For me, that’s where leadership comes in and down to three things:
- Living – Not just creating something, but staying connected to the aliveness within it.
- Loving – Not clinging or defending, but loving in an active, trusting way—even when you don’t always like something happening.
- Learning within it – Staying humble, knowing there’s always more to discover, and being willing to listen and see new possibilities.
Leadership isn’t a title—it’s the choice to show up fully. Communities “pop up” everywhere, all the time. The people may change, but the energy of community is constant. It’s like a spiritual frequency we can tune into.
When we lose that trust and connection, what was alive can fade. But when we stay open, community—like communication—becomes eternal, even if no single form lasts forever.
I used to want to be like an old-growth cedar—deeply rooted and unchanging. Now, I see the wisdom in being more like bamboo—flexible, resilient, able to spring up anywhere.
Ultimately, it’s about knowing how to show up and engage in the moment. That’s what allows a community to truly commune. It may not be forever—but it is eternal.
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