I seem to be suffering from bloggers block. Honestly I don’t know how ‘real’ bloggers do it – write daily, some multiple times a day. I will say I am enjoying the process. I love getting comments and thoughts from readers. I enjoy writing when I have an idea. But sometimes I am just sit staring at the screen or worse typing and deleting without ever landing on something worth finishing.
I know this place when it comes to exercise or learning a new sport. I seem to easily find the discipline and commitment to go for a run and know it’s okay even if it is a slow jog or get on my bike after a few days without riding and overcome the critic and my head that says -” you’re never get better like this – you must ride every day.” In that world I seem to be able to laugh at the tyrant and stay true to my real goal of exercising to connect to my own flow and aliveness.
Writing isn’t quite like that yet. The tyrant seems to have a bit more power. I listen and start to believe that indeed I have failed because I missed a few days or that this little piece about Blogger’s block is stupid and a waste of time. It is usually about know that I select all and delete. But I am going to stay with this, ride through my critic. I am guessing I am not the only one that faces some type of inner dialogue that stops forward progress.
Back when I was an avid and quite talented tennis player I still had days when I would walk on the court and instead of the seamless relationship I generally felt with my racket, the ball and my body I would be caught in the separation and not be able to hit anything well. Those moments (and sometimes longer periods) were very challenging. But because I had a felt sense of grace not to far in the past I could laugh at myself and carry on.
I am guessing true writers are like me when I was playing tennis. They are enough in touch with a ease of grace and ease with words and story that they ride through the rough spots. They laugh at the less the perfect blogs and they wait for the next moment when the words come with ease.