Category Archives: Uncategorized

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Fireworks, Patriotism And Turkeys

With Canada Day behind us, and the Fourth of July tomorrow, my thoughts are on fireworks, patriotism and turkeys. If this were an SAT question about which word doesn’t fit, I am sure you could guess, turkeys.  

Every year at this time, the wild turkeys that roam around our yard have their little turkeys.  Usually this is not a huge issue, but this year Bailey is not quite as smart about the turkeys as Sooke and is going after the little guys. Anyone who knows turkeys can guess the real concern here is not for the babies, but Bailey.  Wild turkeys are serious about protecting their young. So far we have been able to stop any harm from happening. But any love I had for the wild turkeys is long gone. I just want them somewhere else.  

Besides dealing with Bailey and the turkey issue, this is also the first year Bailey has been around for fireworks. Here in Montana, fireworks are like guns, everyone is loudly shooting them off well before the 4th.  I am guessing there is some law that encourages (I say encourages because it is not that effective) folks to wait until the 4th for the big stuff.  So far the occasional pops are causing Bailey to bark and become alarmed, so I imagine the 4th might be a long night.

We don’t usually go anywhere. Our outdoor fire pit area provides an excellent view of the the various displays and a small circle of friends is much more appealing to me than the crowds and parties down by the lake.

This is the biggest weekend for tourists in our area.  It officially marks the opening of Glacier National Park’s Going to the Sun Road and folks start flocking to the park and the lakes that make this area very special.  It is the first summer I will be here. The last couple years I was heading off to Gabriola for the Phase.  I am excited about being home for what’s considered our best months and hopefully getting out to discover some off-road adventures.

I feel very fortunate to have two great nations to call home. On Canada Day I was a part of a wonderful event at The Green Tea House.  The event was a fundraiser for a Peace Garden.  It was very successful and seemed a perfect marker for me to celebrate Canada.  I do think of Canada as a peaceful nation. I doubt many there realized the importance of the date. But Canada seems to like a low profile, so that fits.

Not so with the USA.  Our holidays are big and generally known well beyond our borders.  Sure, sometimes the narcissism and  grandiosity is a bit much, but I am grateful to live here even with all of the issues and controversy.  

I am definitely of two nations and enjoy the opportunity to celebrate each during this first week of July!  

Now back to turkey patrol.  

 

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When Self-Awareness Becomes Self-Excuseness

I have a major project due for completion and I am struggling to get the job done. It’s not like I haven’t known that I suffer from procrastination issues. However, this is one of those times when awareness has not led to new behavior. This project has been looming for months and though I have attempted to pull the necessary pieces together so I could focus and get the job done, I have now waited until the last minute, blogging about this issue instead of doing the job.

So what is that about? I could tell you about my Myers-Briggs type.  On Judging/Perceiving I am a high ‘P’, meaning I like to put things off until the last minute.  Apparently I thrive on the rush of pulling the all-nighter (this might have been true in college but I am much older now and I doubt I would do well at all without sleep). I don’t like closure because I like to leave myself open to all possibilities. Still, there comes a time on a project when choices need to be made.

Even with all this awareness, I am still not moving ahead.  My Myer-Briggs also says I suffer from internal perfectionism, meaning sometimes I won’t do a job because I am too afraid of letting others down, so instead, I just say I can’t do it.  Well this might have been okay months ago when I could have said ‘no’.  But now I am need to overcome any internal concerns about failing and as Nike would say: Just Do It!

As I have mentioned before, I also have some ADHD symptoms and can be easily distracted.

I could probably dive into some other personality assessment or childhood experience that could offer an excuse for this behavior. It is amazing how sometimes self-awareness can simply become self-excuseness.

Enough!  It is time to quit making excuses and get to work.

Though it is quite nice outside—may be I should go for a bike ride!

Just kidding!

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Wrapping Up The Games: Canada Vs USA

Today’s final hockey game will be last medal event and it seems fitting that Canada and the USA are competing for the Gold.  I have been torn for who to root for.  I started the Games writing about how proud I was being part Canadian.  I was thrilled when Canada won it’s first gold and I thought I could hear the singing of O Canada on Gabriola (quite a ways from Vancouver).  However, since returning back to the states and watching the hockey mostly from my computer (thanks to NBC’s strange coverage), I have not been all that proud of the Canadian fans.  Watching from the computer means I get to see the running text messages beside the picture.  The hatred that came from these posts towards the USA was hard to take.  I realize the USA upset the Canadian dream path to hockey Gold.  But I was surprised that it resulted in a meltdown.  Good thing that was mostly just the fans and not the players.  Team Canada seemed to have used the loss to get over their complacent ways putting together an awesome run of victories for a second chance.  They actually seem to be a better team now then last week.

My discouragement got worse when a friend shared how poorly they had been treated as a fan at a curling match while wearing a USA jacket.  I felt sad.  I was ready to just start rooting for the USA team. I shared my pain with one of my Canadian hockey fans.  He wrote back a story that balanced the scales.  Apparently a radio show up in Canada was asking folks to call in and share how much they hated the USA team.  A young boy called and instead of sharing his hatred, he asked the question, “Why do so many people want to hate a team that has made hockey so exciting?”  I love that.  My friend also shared a series of other stories like the ice dancers—USA and Canadian—who train together and hug after each  performance, regardless of who won.

So now I am rooting for the best game, the one which provides the excitement the young boy spoke about.  A game that somehow reflects the best of these Games.

I am not even a hockey fan.  But I do appreciate how much hockey means to Canada.  I also appreciate that the USA has not won the gold since Lake Placid and that was the “miracle on ice” experience.  These days the players out there are professionals, very different than the college team that won back then.  Still this USA team is young and passionate.  The Canadian team has the nation backing it and carries the weight of expectation.  It sounds like a great match-up and hopefully one that will make all of us proud!!

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Back to Mac

Today I am back to being a full time Apple person.  I tried the PC netbook because it was small and light.  Not to mention much less expensive.  For a year now I have given it my best shot.  But I have had my frustrations.

Back in 2000 I switched to a Mac.  Started with the ibook.  Loved the ease and grace.  Next I talked CrisMarie into switching over our Thrive! systems to Mac.  This wasn’t easy since she is a long time PC fan.  Though within a week she was in love with Apple.  She has tremendous style and I knew that alone would convince her once she got past her business consultant view that one most have a PC.

For years we have been happy Apple folks.  Even happier when it got super easy to pull up most documents on either a Mac or a PC.  So you may ask why did I ever go back to a PC.  All I can really say for myself is that I was cheap.  I wanted light, small and something that did not take up all my carry on bag.  The netbook did intend fill that role.

Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with the Acer netbook.  In many ways it is a perfect little machine for email, surfing the web and blogging while traveling.  But I could never convince CrisMarie to logon.  So I was generally carrying her computer as well as the netbook.  The screen was small.  Also there were just things that were not as elegant and as nice.

So I have gone back to Apple.  I decided to try the MacAir.  It is light, elegant and I have no doubts CrisMarie will be happy to use this new machine on the road.  Honestly I am not even sure how long I will be able to call it mine.  The Air is so light and so far is fast and reliable.  (I have only had it for a day so reliable might be pushing it.)  Still I am happy to be back on an Apple.

I know this is not really a deep, reflective piece of writing.  But I just had to share my joy.  Plus this is my way of notifying some friends they my have to find me fresh on ichat and Skype.

Maybe tomorrow I will have something more significant to write.  For now I will just be playing on my MAC!!

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Distracted

I went to see a Black Curtain showing of the play, Distracted by Lisa Loomer. I am glad it was the Black Curtain showing.  The play was awesome, and I really enjoyed just focusing on the lines and the characters.  After the show one of the actors was saying what it would have been like with full staging.  The script calls for an amazing amount of stimulation – big screens, lots of movement.  Indeed, this would fit in terms of distracting; however, for me I think it might have been too much.  I liked just seeing and hearing the actors.

The play is a  funny, heartfelt and thought-provoking look at a mother’s journey dealing with her 9 year old son who is struggling with hyperactivity and difficulty staying focused.  The mother talks to the teacher, the psychologist, the doctor, a Homeopath and various other experts.  The mother is trying decide if medication is the best avenue.  The script is written through her eyes, but there are many windows into the husband, who at times seems like a man avoiding the problem but ultimately reveals his own inner beliefs that he is the problem.

As a child I would have been considered ADHD along with some other learning issues (dyslexsia). Later in life, as a mental health professional who worked with “ADHD” kids I appreciated the script on many levels.  I do think there is much too much medication distributed not just to children but to adults.  I also believe that children with ‘ADHD’ may not have a disability.

The play did a wonderful job of tracking the mother’s process.  The pain in not knowing what was best, the frustration in discovering that the experts really did not know more than she did, and the challenge of maintaining a marriage when dealing with something that is not easily solved.  It was clear that both for children and adults our solution is all too often medication.  It is amazing how many medications are out there for ADD, OCD, depression, bi-polar, anxiety etc….  Of course, it is also amazing how over-stimullated we are with TV’s, Blackberries, computers and everything available 24/7.  Are we ADD or AOL (Attention OverLoad)?  Are we depressed or simply out of contact – well connection not just text messaging.

When I ran groups for ADHD kids I apparently had an amazing success rate.  I had some other professionals wanting to know the secret and asking to observe.  It was interesting though when they came they could not stand the group dynamics.  My ‘success’ was simply was too chaotic for them.  The groups were often very active sessions where everyone had a drum.  There were strings that each child used to create a space and those boundaries had to be respected.  But other than that I was okay with quite a lot of noise and interaction.  In the end, each of the groups found their way to move forward.  When I interviewed the kids after the group, they all seemed to have learned the most from each other and what seemed to convince them to settle down and focus was their own desire to connect to each other.

Though the groups were successful, without any real science, the positive results were simply not taken very seriously.  However, the parents all seemed to get the idea.  They had been trying so hard to help ‘control’ their out-of-control child that may be they needed to join them sometimes in being a little on the wild side.

The play Distracted provided an equally refreshing conclusion.

Maybe a diagnosis helps sometimes. Even medication might be useful for a short period to assist someone.  But we have taken that WAY too far and stopped looking at the bigger picture.  All these ‘disorders’ may just be trying to tell us something else.  What might happen if we stopped drugging and turned off the over-stimulation and sank in and connected.  I am guessing at first that would be very uncomfortable and in the end I believe we might just discover there is an important message to be received when all the noise stops.

Uncategorized, Vision

Breathe & Change the World!

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I put together a two hour presentation called, Wake Up & Breathe.  I had fun pulling together tons of information I had learned over the years.  Of course I had way more then two hours would allow, plus I had promised experiential and needed to build in time for that.  In the end, the two hours was a variety of tidbits and lots of  opportunities to breathe.  I was very pleased with how willing people were to try things and share they experience with each other.  I also learned myself just how easy it is too get caught up in all the interesting bits of information about breathing and never breathe.

The day after the talk I found myself running ahead of myself throughout the day.  I didn’t remember the most important piece of information from the night before – keep it simple and take the few seconds throughout the day to breathe!

I could easily say I big piece of the problem for me is having a hyper puppy demanding my attention.  I could also blame a busy schedule.  But I had in my talk given lots of ways that only took seconds and/or could be done easily with Bailey in my lap.  ( which he loves and he definitely beathes!).  So what makes it so hard to make the time to breathe.

I do believe there are two possibilities.  One is that when I breathe  I often bump into places where I am holding or begin to feel some feelings which I may or may not be so open to allowing.  That use to be the common cause of keeping the breathe shallow and holding on.  I am actually better at that now.  Of course I still get get caught avoiding feeling but at least I am more aware and can shift.

The second reason is a bit more surprising because it just seems odd.  These days when I am regularly breathing and stay present.  I actually find I feel more alive, joyful and quite content.  Now you would think that would be a pretty good motivator to remember to breathe.  But it seems I have some sort of speed bump around contentment or aliveness.  Some is great but too much just doesn’t isn’t okay.

I don’t think I am the only one who operates this way.  I know others who seem to wrestle with a similar set point.  Why is it that contentment, joy and aliveness are so hard to stay in.  I think most people would say they want that in their lives and most people stop themselves.

I have read the quote about our greatest fear being our greatest and our light not failure.  May be that does have something to do with it.  We don’t seem to have too much trouble dwelling in worry, doubt and all that is wrong with the world.  What about what’s ‘right’.  I can get to the idea of being present.  But I think there’s even more.  Presence taps me into unlimited possibilities and some type of oneness or wholeness.  I am much more then me and from that possibility anything is possible.  I guess I believe from that space we aren’t just present we are everything – the past, the present and the future – which means we can influence and shift ourselves and our planet.  To me that is worth considering.  We do it unconsciously anyway – breathing is the one function that is both voluntary and involuntary.  So way not  breathe conciously.  Just imagine what’s possible.  Wow!!

Today I started out taking some time to breathe.  Nothing too big but enough to get me vibrating and excited about life.  So far I am finding the day is going quite well.  I haven’t changed the planet but I also haven’t been afraid to imagine that I could – one little blog and breathe at a time!!

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My Love for The Haven

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I am on my way home from the annual Faculty meeting at The Haven.  It is a long trip with added frustration this year due to Olympic security in Vancouver.  I had thought I would not make it.  Now heading home, tired and weary from the travel I am very grateful I made the effort.

As many of my regular followers know I have been engaged with The Haven for over twenty-five years.  I’ve been through all of the core programs a few times, been leading programs for over a decade.  I worked, lived there and in many ways grew up calling The Haven my home. Yes, arriving there many years ago thinking I was dying I was given something to yearn for when I didn’t really believe I had any good reason to live.  So it’s easy on a personal level to know why The Haven is home.

But it goes beyond personal for me.  I was reminded in many ways this weekend not just why I love The Haven but also why I truly believe the place is special and needs to always be there.  I won’t cover everything but I will address two key reasons I think more people need to know about The Haven.

This year’s meeting provided some back to the basic stuff for those of us who are long time leaders.  We started the first afternoon breathing with a partner.  Doesn’t get much more basic then that.  Fifteen minutes later I was reminded of how such a simple experience can be so transformative, grounding and connecting.  We then spent the next few hours taking the time to speak frankly, honestly and deeply with each other.  These conversations were one on one.  Some short,  some longer.  Again I was reminded of how easy it is to avoid being open and honest. Yet, when structure and time is provided,  defenses I didn’t even know were present drop.  I not only discover the person sitting across from me,  I rediscover myself.

After that it did seem easier to talk about some of the challenges we face and having some great dialogue about some issues that have gone unaddressed openly for a while.  We didn’t resolve everything.  But we were able to discover how we can disagree and still commit fully to going forward.

So the opportunity to walk our talk was awesome and that so many choose to do that with the time and structure provided was refreshing.  I don’t know many places where leaders really take the time to do that.

The second reason I was reminded of how much I value The Haven came through and evening presentation about the experience of folks who are dealing with Transgender issues.  I listened as someone I had known as a woman long ago who is now a man spoke about not just his own experience but a world that I fortunately have not experienced as harshly has many do.  I realized as I listened how grateful I was that I had lived and learned at The Haven how to be accepting of people.

I wasn’t really the most normal person growing up.  I had found a way through learning disabilities, being a minority, living through some darker aspects of life in my childhood and when I finally decided to deal with some of that I didn’t go for counseling, I went to The Haven.  I wasn’t labeled or alienated.  I was listened to and given a place that somehow made my crazy life seem normal enough.  I grew beyond all the crazy happenings of my past and realized that life was in the moment, not in holding on to my story.  In listening to the presentation I realized just how fortunate I was because many do get labeled, hated, alienated and walk a much lonelier path.  That path is is even called health care sometimes but it really sounds quite inhuman and not so caring.

I think I had wondered about the topic, was it the right topic for us?  Mainly because I hadn’t had lots of experience with transgender as a label.  But I so loved the way the presentation was so real and people’s response was so personal and affirming that indeed The Haven is a place to come with any label and be given the space to live where labels really aren’t that important.  Labels seem to just drop away, the so called good ones as well as the not so popular,  and people show up and relate and discover themselves beyond whatever label they came with.

I love that about The Haven and I am very grateful I have been reminded once again why The Haven so such a special place and why I keep going back even if it is a very long trip!!

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Winning Isn’t Everything

I remember years ago when Nike ran the ad; You don’t win Silver you lose Gold, I lost some respect for the Nike brand that day.  My heart sunk a bit when I realized that the marketing department was simply playing on one of the less than admirable traits we Americans seem to value: winning means everything.

Some might call me crazy or weak, but I just don’t think winning is everything.  Anyone who knows me, ( I think) would say this does not mean I am not competitive.  I love a good competition.  I enjoy winning.  I have also enjoyed losing.  My own way of judging the ‘game’ is not in the final score but in the quality of play.  Did I do my best?  Did I play fair?  Did I give 100% or more?  These all come before, did I win?

I get paid working in corporate America, and sometimes I am saddened by just how much winning trumps integrity, people and a good fight.  The price of this win-at-all-costs position is beginning to show up in sports heroes who are now known for doping, a banking industry that is riddled with fraud and international distrust and distaste for Americans.

I may sound unpatriotic but I don’t think so.  Our country was built not on winning but on freedom, personal responsible and integrity.  The Boston Tea wasn’t about winning.  It was about making a statement to the world that there was another way to rule, do business and make room for differences in religion and beliefs.

I want the best results but sometimes the best results are not the ‘winning’ results not if there are astericks next to the score that make it clear doping was involved or some other questionable means.

CrisMare won Silver at the World Champions.  Yes, the Romanians rowed across the finish line first, but to hear her tell the story it is clear her team won Silver and were thrilled at the results!!

I think I writing this because I just got back from working with another Canadian company in a different business sector and I loved it.  I loved working with a group of people who were competitive but equally humble.  I would hate to think that is just a Canadian quality.

I know folks poke fun at Canada at times.  They are not dominate or a superpower.  However, they are strong, good-willed, competitive and seem to being doing just fine.

I wouldn’t mind if a little of Canada rubbed off on corporate America.  I have worked with enough Americans executives to know some do feel the same way.

Winning isn’t everything and great results can come from playing hard, playing fair and being kind!!

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Invictus – My Holiday Best Film Award!!

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I am thinking I saved the best for last in terms of new holiday movies.  Though it appears from crowds and revenue that Avatar is the big hit, personally I think the best film is Invictus.  I have been a fan of Nelson Mandala for a long time primarily because of his book, A Long Road to Freedom and his beliefs about freedom. Mainly that freedom involves tremendous responsibility and that the oppressed is only as free as  his oppressor is allowed to be.  His views are a paradigm shift and the movie Invictus in my opinion demonstrated the shift I was looking for in Avatar.

May be it takes 27 years of imprisonment to get to that point.  However, I don’t think so.  Yes it takes that in the beginning.  Much like it takes monks years and years of mediatating to get their brains waves to a certain state.  However, those monks did the hardest work and now those of us that follow can reach that same state much easier.  Mandela changed his heart and mind through years of imprisonment.  He then came back into his world and through living and being in the world gave many a chance to experience that same shift simply by being in his presence and rediscovering/remembering their own heart connection.

Mandela’s courage and commitment to model and live what he believed was amazing.  There are so many parts of this film that are worth remembering.  But I don’t want to give away the movie I trully believe it is worthwhile for everyone to see.

I think why it worked was resonance and a collective emotional rallying cry.  Mandela was like a tuning fork walking through the world.  No matter what people thought or how many people doubted him he stayed consistent and spoke his truth.  I think people felt it and like with tuning forks began to resonant and remember the same frequency inside themselves.  The second gift he offered was the foresight to see an amazing opportunity to rally people around a common goal.  He saw his people’s love of rugby/sport and rallied the country around a team.  (I will not say more & that much is in the trailer!).

This is something we encourage leaders in companies to use instead of revenue and profit.  A rallying cry is emotional and touches the hearts of many.  It is short term (6months, nine months a year) and allows for collective focus, forward movement and relatively quick success.  This type of collective goal pulls people beyond their differences and allows them to forget or be distracted from their own pain long enough to connect and potentially jump to a new place – a paradigm.

I hope anyone reading this blog goes to see Invictus.  We are not all Nelson Mandela and likely most of us will not change the world as he did.  But resonance is not about being the loudest tone it is simply about being consistent and strong.  Resonance is the embodiment of : be the change you are wishing for.  If we can each do that we can and will impact the world – and the world can change!

Connecting, Uncategorized, Vision

Avatar

In spite of the crowds,  I did decide to go see Avatar.  It was a three hour film. One way I measure a film’s success is if I notice the length and in this case I found this film more engaging then Sherlock Holmes, a two hour film that seemed more like three.  I am sure part of the engagement was the wonder and color of the planet, Pandora.  I loved the idea of a people so in tune with the land that every step is linked to the life around them.

Okay so this is not an original story by any means.  Natives in any major continent all have histories of being linked into the land and natural rhythms of the earth and all of these aboriginal peoples have been dominated and killed for access to the lands.  There’s also nothing new about foreigners finding some precious metal, resource or nugget that is worth tons of money but would require the destruction of the planet to mine .  Finally the fight that eventually takes place is not new either.  Indeed Avatar is the same story we keep repeating over and over, for real and in stories like Fern Gully and Worship Down.  yet, we never learn.

Avatar means teacher, but I am not sure the lead character lives up to the title.  Maybe Grace did.  But she died.  Our main man did change.  But I was wishing for some other path then fight war with war.  I get he was only defending their home which by any human standard is perfectly acceptable, but isn’t there something else.  Here is a planet that is so interconnected that eventually all the animals come to fight off the bad guys.  What if instead of fighting them off that interconnecting link was used to shift minds.  I know it is not Hollywood but I am still looking for a new storyline.

I liked Avatar.  I was cheering for him and the natives.  But I left wishing there could have been a more unique and novel path for resolving differences.  I have to believe there is something – a paradigm shift that is available to us and all living beings. Often that type of magic arrives through remembering or imagining and then sharing the stories through the present day medium which in today’s world, is 3D film.  Avatar had many elements of that possibility; telepathy, interconnection, blending of different species and of course the age old ingredient love.  However, in the end the story still didn’t provide a new paradigm.

I am still waiting and will keep trying to remember and imagine that there is a path other then violence that leads us home!