Tag Archives: Susan Clarke

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Back to Mac

Today I am back to being a full time Apple person.  I tried the PC netbook because it was small and light.  Not to mention much less expensive.  For a year now I have given it my best shot.  But I have had my frustrations.

Back in 2000 I switched to a Mac.  Started with the ibook.  Loved the ease and grace.  Next I talked CrisMarie into switching over our Thrive! systems to Mac.  This wasn’t easy since she is a long time PC fan.  Though within a week she was in love with Apple.  She has tremendous style and I knew that alone would convince her once she got past her business consultant view that one most have a PC.

For years we have been happy Apple folks.  Even happier when it got super easy to pull up most documents on either a Mac or a PC.  So you may ask why did I ever go back to a PC.  All I can really say for myself is that I was cheap.  I wanted light, small and something that did not take up all my carry on bag.  The netbook did intend fill that role.

Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with the Acer netbook.  In many ways it is a perfect little machine for email, surfing the web and blogging while traveling.  But I could never convince CrisMarie to logon.  So I was generally carrying her computer as well as the netbook.  The screen was small.  Also there were just things that were not as elegant and as nice.

So I have gone back to Apple.  I decided to try the MacAir.  It is light, elegant and I have no doubts CrisMarie will be happy to use this new machine on the road.  Honestly I am not even sure how long I will be able to call it mine.  The Air is so light and so far is fast and reliable.  (I have only had it for a day so reliable might be pushing it.)  Still I am happy to be back on an Apple.

I know this is not really a deep, reflective piece of writing.  But I just had to share my joy.  Plus this is my way of notifying some friends they my have to find me fresh on ichat and Skype.

Maybe tomorrow I will have something more significant to write.  For now I will just be playing on my MAC!!

Life Experiences

Life Lessons from The Games

I have been soaking in as much of the Olympic vibes as possible.  Last week on my way to The Haven for a Come Alive, I caught the skytrain down to the heart of Vancouver and enjoyed just walking and chatting with folks.  Of course during the Come Alive my energy and attention shifted to the folks in the group.  Though I found it quite fun to check out the results either online or through dinner conversations.

Now back at home I am watching with CrisMarie, an Olympian from the summer games.  In the past she wasn’t too fond of  watching.  It seemed to stir some pain from her own Olympian disappointment in finishing sixth.  Fortunately she seems to have come to a different place now.  Able to recognize the amazing triumph of making it to the Games and competing at that level and even drawing from the disappointment to speak about the lessons learned about teaming; primarily the difference between being a boat of champions and a championship boat.

It is interesting to me to watch the athletes.  Especially the ones expected to medal.  So much pressure.  Some seem to embrace that moment and rise to the occasion.  I am not just speaking of those who win their Gold, Silver or Bronze but also about those who don’t,  yet still stay thrilled with the moment and able to recognize that on that one day they did not win.

Personally I believe it takes excellence and dedication over time to make it to the Games.  It takes a peak moment to win the Gold.  Very different.  One not better or worse then the other.  But different.

I love the events where some unexpected contender races to the lead, surprising everyone.  I was watching the USA hockey team beat Canada 5-3 and watched the goalie defend 45 shots at the goal, only allowing 3 to get in.  I could not help but wonder was that a peak moment or a sustainable performance.  Just the fact that Canada got 45 shots on the goal versus 20 some by the USA, who was the better team and who was having the better moment.

That is what makes the Games so interesting to me.  There is just that drive that allows someone or a team to come together and practice and dedicate themselves to making it to the greatest sporting event.  That effort alone is something any Olympian I would hope could recognize and honor for themselves.  Then there is the moment – the event.  Some will rise that day and fly; others will put their heart in the event to simply be beaten by a better performance and some will fall and never cross the finish line.  Indeed that moment can be crushing after all the effort.  Still I can’t help but believe that  there will be a day when each and every athlete that walked through the gate during the opening ceremonies can and will fully embrace the accomplishment of that – with or without a medal to show for it.

In the Come Alive we talk about the Power and Strength Model. This is a continuum that we are all living and choosing all the time.  The power side of the model deals with control, roles, security and dominating the world around us.  The strength side deals vulnerability, authenticity, risk and finding our will from within.  For me this is the essence of the Olympics.  I see and hear the continuum being played out through these athletes.  The power in winning – taking the podium. The strength in competing – rising with or without a medal.  Some will get fixated on their moment.  That moment may be one of greatest or humility; victory or defeat.  Some will flow through the moment.  Again through the high of winning or the low of falling short of their dream.  I can see it on their faces as they embrace their team mates or not, speak to the press or not and through the awarding of the medals. With some  the fixation is clear.  This moment will define them for some time.  For others it is simply another piece of the fabric of their lives.  May be a bright spot but still just a piece and they are already moving on.

We are all like these athletes. Life is like the Games.  Fortunately not being captured on TV.  Yet still working with that same dynamic.  The moments and the day-to-day effort it takes to make those moment possible.  We are our peak experiences as well as the little choices we make every day.

Sometimes I get stuck focusing on the moments and miss the opportunity to move on.  Sometimes I forget to celebrate a moment and move on too quickly. Indeed life is always offering me so many opportunities to wake up – in-the-moment and over time.  I would like to be one of the ones who does indeed wake up and can celebrate that I made it to the Games and gave it all the power and strength I had to offer; with or with a medal.

That would be cool!!

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Distracted

I went to see a Black Curtain showing of the play, Distracted by Lisa Loomer. I am glad it was the Black Curtain showing.  The play was awesome, and I really enjoyed just focusing on the lines and the characters.  After the show one of the actors was saying what it would have been like with full staging.  The script calls for an amazing amount of stimulation – big screens, lots of movement.  Indeed, this would fit in terms of distracting; however, for me I think it might have been too much.  I liked just seeing and hearing the actors.

The play is a  funny, heartfelt and thought-provoking look at a mother’s journey dealing with her 9 year old son who is struggling with hyperactivity and difficulty staying focused.  The mother talks to the teacher, the psychologist, the doctor, a Homeopath and various other experts.  The mother is trying decide if medication is the best avenue.  The script is written through her eyes, but there are many windows into the husband, who at times seems like a man avoiding the problem but ultimately reveals his own inner beliefs that he is the problem.

As a child I would have been considered ADHD along with some other learning issues (dyslexsia). Later in life, as a mental health professional who worked with “ADHD” kids I appreciated the script on many levels.  I do think there is much too much medication distributed not just to children but to adults.  I also believe that children with ‘ADHD’ may not have a disability.

The play did a wonderful job of tracking the mother’s process.  The pain in not knowing what was best, the frustration in discovering that the experts really did not know more than she did, and the challenge of maintaining a marriage when dealing with something that is not easily solved.  It was clear that both for children and adults our solution is all too often medication.  It is amazing how many medications are out there for ADD, OCD, depression, bi-polar, anxiety etc….  Of course, it is also amazing how over-stimullated we are with TV’s, Blackberries, computers and everything available 24/7.  Are we ADD or AOL (Attention OverLoad)?  Are we depressed or simply out of contact – well connection not just text messaging.

When I ran groups for ADHD kids I apparently had an amazing success rate.  I had some other professionals wanting to know the secret and asking to observe.  It was interesting though when they came they could not stand the group dynamics.  My ‘success’ was simply was too chaotic for them.  The groups were often very active sessions where everyone had a drum.  There were strings that each child used to create a space and those boundaries had to be respected.  But other than that I was okay with quite a lot of noise and interaction.  In the end, each of the groups found their way to move forward.  When I interviewed the kids after the group, they all seemed to have learned the most from each other and what seemed to convince them to settle down and focus was their own desire to connect to each other.

Though the groups were successful, without any real science, the positive results were simply not taken very seriously.  However, the parents all seemed to get the idea.  They had been trying so hard to help ‘control’ their out-of-control child that may be they needed to join them sometimes in being a little on the wild side.

The play Distracted provided an equally refreshing conclusion.

Maybe a diagnosis helps sometimes. Even medication might be useful for a short period to assist someone.  But we have taken that WAY too far and stopped looking at the bigger picture.  All these ‘disorders’ may just be trying to tell us something else.  What might happen if we stopped drugging and turned off the over-stimulation and sank in and connected.  I am guessing at first that would be very uncomfortable and in the end I believe we might just discover there is an important message to be received when all the noise stops.

Uncategorized, Vision

Breathe & Change the World!

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I put together a two hour presentation called, Wake Up & Breathe.  I had fun pulling together tons of information I had learned over the years.  Of course I had way more then two hours would allow, plus I had promised experiential and needed to build in time for that.  In the end, the two hours was a variety of tidbits and lots of  opportunities to breathe.  I was very pleased with how willing people were to try things and share they experience with each other.  I also learned myself just how easy it is too get caught up in all the interesting bits of information about breathing and never breathe.

The day after the talk I found myself running ahead of myself throughout the day.  I didn’t remember the most important piece of information from the night before – keep it simple and take the few seconds throughout the day to breathe!

I could easily say I big piece of the problem for me is having a hyper puppy demanding my attention.  I could also blame a busy schedule.  But I had in my talk given lots of ways that only took seconds and/or could be done easily with Bailey in my lap.  ( which he loves and he definitely beathes!).  So what makes it so hard to make the time to breathe.

I do believe there are two possibilities.  One is that when I breathe  I often bump into places where I am holding or begin to feel some feelings which I may or may not be so open to allowing.  That use to be the common cause of keeping the breathe shallow and holding on.  I am actually better at that now.  Of course I still get get caught avoiding feeling but at least I am more aware and can shift.

The second reason is a bit more surprising because it just seems odd.  These days when I am regularly breathing and stay present.  I actually find I feel more alive, joyful and quite content.  Now you would think that would be a pretty good motivator to remember to breathe.  But it seems I have some sort of speed bump around contentment or aliveness.  Some is great but too much just doesn’t isn’t okay.

I don’t think I am the only one who operates this way.  I know others who seem to wrestle with a similar set point.  Why is it that contentment, joy and aliveness are so hard to stay in.  I think most people would say they want that in their lives and most people stop themselves.

I have read the quote about our greatest fear being our greatest and our light not failure.  May be that does have something to do with it.  We don’t seem to have too much trouble dwelling in worry, doubt and all that is wrong with the world.  What about what’s ‘right’.  I can get to the idea of being present.  But I think there’s even more.  Presence taps me into unlimited possibilities and some type of oneness or wholeness.  I am much more then me and from that possibility anything is possible.  I guess I believe from that space we aren’t just present we are everything – the past, the present and the future – which means we can influence and shift ourselves and our planet.  To me that is worth considering.  We do it unconsciously anyway – breathing is the one function that is both voluntary and involuntary.  So way not  breathe conciously.  Just imagine what’s possible.  Wow!!

Today I started out taking some time to breathe.  Nothing too big but enough to get me vibrating and excited about life.  So far I am finding the day is going quite well.  I haven’t changed the planet but I also haven’t been afraid to imagine that I could – one little blog and breathe at a time!!

Life Experiences, Vision

Hanging on To The Fire Hose!

I feel like 2010 is starting out a bit like a fire hose and I am trying to keep control without much success.  When I have had a chance to sit down to blog I have found my mind too busy to focus on any one subject long enough to write.  Sure I could tell you about the current Bailey challenges.  However, a dog’s digestive tract just doesn’t seem like a topic worth sharing.  There have been some really positive things happening.  We found an excellent trainer and are regularly going to class as well as puppy and dog social hours.  This has been time well spent because Bailey is enjoying a great variety of dogs of all ages and sizes and we are getting trained along the way.

Then there’s work which is picking up.  We had an excellent session with a team we had not been with for a while.  They have done some great work building cohesion and clarity based on some of the original work we did.  It’s neat to see what folks do with what they have learned!!  Now we are prepping for a much larger group.  Shortly we’ll be presenting in front of a group of 150 financial folks.  This will be bit more challenging because there is more of a speaker element to the day and we will be talking more to leaders then to teams.  I like the challenge and of course with anything new there is some anxiety.

Then there’s the Board that I am on for the school I am a part of here in Whitefish.  Last year was a year of significant transition for the school and though I think we did a good job of shifting from a founder as leader to a broader group of folks leading,  we are still dealing with some transition issues.  The founder hasn’t found the shift easy and there’s tensions that have yet to resolve.  Because the school is a centered around a spiritual community and focus there is a belief that the issues are somehow unique.  I am not so sure about that.  Basically the hardest issues the school faces seem pretty much the same as any business I have worked with – breakdowns in communication and silo’s activity that slows down overall progress.

Of course I also am trying to stay enagged in the various activities happening at The Haven.  As part of the core faculty there I like to stay as informed as possible.  I love the times that I am there leading programs.  Over five years ago The Haven went through it’s on transition as Ben and Jock stepped away from being involved in day to day operations.  That transiton was very difficult for me because The Haven was more family then buisness.  I struggled with the shift and at one point pulled way back. I have reengaged though not quite at the same level.  Some of that is because I moved to Montana and I am not at The Haven as much or in contact with folks who are there as frequently.  Some of it is because I have become more enagged in the community out here and don’t have the band width to stay fully present in both worlds.

So my life is busy.  I have no doubt everyone goes through their own version of juggling what’s most important in their lives.  It’s not easy to keep a healthy balance.

I do have a image in my mind of trying to control a fire hose with the water turned on full force.  Right now I feel like the hose is whipping around in too mnay directions.  I either need to get a firmer grip on the hose to control the flow or I need to expand the hose so the water has more room to flow.

Next week I’ll be offline at a yoga retreat. Lots of time to figure out which way I want to go!

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Invictus – My Holiday Best Film Award!!

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I am thinking I saved the best for last in terms of new holiday movies.  Though it appears from crowds and revenue that Avatar is the big hit, personally I think the best film is Invictus.  I have been a fan of Nelson Mandala for a long time primarily because of his book, A Long Road to Freedom and his beliefs about freedom. Mainly that freedom involves tremendous responsibility and that the oppressed is only as free as  his oppressor is allowed to be.  His views are a paradigm shift and the movie Invictus in my opinion demonstrated the shift I was looking for in Avatar.

May be it takes 27 years of imprisonment to get to that point.  However, I don’t think so.  Yes it takes that in the beginning.  Much like it takes monks years and years of mediatating to get their brains waves to a certain state.  However, those monks did the hardest work and now those of us that follow can reach that same state much easier.  Mandela changed his heart and mind through years of imprisonment.  He then came back into his world and through living and being in the world gave many a chance to experience that same shift simply by being in his presence and rediscovering/remembering their own heart connection.

Mandela’s courage and commitment to model and live what he believed was amazing.  There are so many parts of this film that are worth remembering.  But I don’t want to give away the movie I trully believe it is worthwhile for everyone to see.

I think why it worked was resonance and a collective emotional rallying cry.  Mandela was like a tuning fork walking through the world.  No matter what people thought or how many people doubted him he stayed consistent and spoke his truth.  I think people felt it and like with tuning forks began to resonant and remember the same frequency inside themselves.  The second gift he offered was the foresight to see an amazing opportunity to rally people around a common goal.  He saw his people’s love of rugby/sport and rallied the country around a team.  (I will not say more & that much is in the trailer!).

This is something we encourage leaders in companies to use instead of revenue and profit.  A rallying cry is emotional and touches the hearts of many.  It is short term (6months, nine months a year) and allows for collective focus, forward movement and relatively quick success.  This type of collective goal pulls people beyond their differences and allows them to forget or be distracted from their own pain long enough to connect and potentially jump to a new place – a paradigm.

I hope anyone reading this blog goes to see Invictus.  We are not all Nelson Mandela and likely most of us will not change the world as he did.  But resonance is not about being the loudest tone it is simply about being consistent and strong.  Resonance is the embodiment of : be the change you are wishing for.  If we can each do that we can and will impact the world – and the world can change!

Life Experiences, Vision

Reflections & The New Year

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Today’s the close of 2009.  For me this year seems to have flown by.  I think as I age the time passes quickly.  For many years my plans for new year’s eve involved The Haven and a wonderful program there called Reflections.  Each year the program started on the 28th and ran through the 1st of the new year.  The morning of each day  was spend with friends reflecting on the year and catching up and the afternoon was either free time or an opportunity to be a part of the fastest put together play production ever.  The play’s storyline was always the same – someone(s) is trying to stop the new year and someone(s) have to save the day.  Though the storyline is the same the characters are always new and developed by the folks participating.  Everyone gets to be the character they want which sometimes makes the play a bit wild.  Still on New Year’s Eve the play is the center of a great evening.  Along side the play is an awesome talent show.  Basically everything happens by 10pm and the rest of the evening is dancing and hanging out down in the lodge until midnight.  I always believed it was the best New Year’s event around.  By new year’s day there’s been enough reflecting and some imagining that the last morning’s sharing of the one word for the next year is magical and so much more fun then resolutions!

It’s been a few years now since I have made it to The Haven for Reflections.  Partially because it’s not an easy trip and I am generally going back later in January for a faculty weekend.  But I miss Reflections.  I try to create some of the same experience wherever I end up.  Of course the play is out; however, I do still spend time reflecting on the year and trying to come up with a word that resonates with the year ahead.  I’ve added a few things like a collage of images and words of things I want to fill my world with going forward.  This year I may even go and participate in a midnight meditation.

It’s a bit different this year because CrisMarie is in a place where she is grieving the passing of her brother, Tom.  We got so busy after he died that she never had the time to let her feelings surface and flow.  Now she realizes the loss and is working through her own process of letting go.  It is wonderful to be in support and I am aware that is also a process she needs to do at times alone.

Looking back on 2009, I am aware of some very exciting additions to my life.  Bailey of course.  Plus my blog.  Also I have become a yoga fan and even though I am not great yet believe I have reached a point where I can show up for a class anywhere and hold my own.  I did my own workshop – Living Life Full Out and had a positive experience.  We had some great work opportunities and created some excellent relationships.  I signed on as Chairman of the Board of JMSI and have been learning tons in that new role.  Some of the highs were going to the Harmara Yoga retreat, a wonderful Phase program in the summer (plus two excellent Come Alives!), finally making it to the Going to the Sun Road and discovering just how much fun it is to bike in Montana!!  The lows were my horrible winter cold, Tom’s passing, not being able to make to Spokane to visit with my family for the holiday and still not getting any skiing in yet.

Looking ahead I am excited about moving into my 50th year!  We are going back to Haramara for a the second annual yoga retreat and in June will head to Croatia for a bike trip.  It looks like there will be some changes in our work relationship to the Table Group and we are open to that.  There are many events already on my calendar for the year and I am sure there are many things that will pop up.  Last year my word was integration and I think the year’s reflected that.  Many parts of my world(s) came together and that was cool.

This year’s  word has not come forward yet.  I am thinking it has something to do with play, joy and wonder.  I know there are many challenging things happening in the world these days and fear and doubt are abundant.  However, may be it’s Bailey but my heart is light and excited about the possibilities.  When the final word surfaces I will let you know.  This blog has been like my reflections.  I haven’t heard as much from friends but invite you to share your own reflections and what you anticipate lies ahead.

Have a very Happy New year!!

Connecting, Uncategorized, Vision

Avatar

In spite of the crowds,  I did decide to go see Avatar.  It was a three hour film. One way I measure a film’s success is if I notice the length and in this case I found this film more engaging then Sherlock Holmes, a two hour film that seemed more like three.  I am sure part of the engagement was the wonder and color of the planet, Pandora.  I loved the idea of a people so in tune with the land that every step is linked to the life around them.

Okay so this is not an original story by any means.  Natives in any major continent all have histories of being linked into the land and natural rhythms of the earth and all of these aboriginal peoples have been dominated and killed for access to the lands.  There’s also nothing new about foreigners finding some precious metal, resource or nugget that is worth tons of money but would require the destruction of the planet to mine .  Finally the fight that eventually takes place is not new either.  Indeed Avatar is the same story we keep repeating over and over, for real and in stories like Fern Gully and Worship Down.  yet, we never learn.

Avatar means teacher, but I am not sure the lead character lives up to the title.  Maybe Grace did.  But she died.  Our main man did change.  But I was wishing for some other path then fight war with war.  I get he was only defending their home which by any human standard is perfectly acceptable, but isn’t there something else.  Here is a planet that is so interconnected that eventually all the animals come to fight off the bad guys.  What if instead of fighting them off that interconnecting link was used to shift minds.  I know it is not Hollywood but I am still looking for a new storyline.

I liked Avatar.  I was cheering for him and the natives.  But I left wishing there could have been a more unique and novel path for resolving differences.  I have to believe there is something – a paradigm shift that is available to us and all living beings. Often that type of magic arrives through remembering or imagining and then sharing the stories through the present day medium which in today’s world, is 3D film.  Avatar had many elements of that possibility; telepathy, interconnection, blending of different species and of course the age old ingredient love.  However, in the end the story still didn’t provide a new paradigm.

I am still waiting and will keep trying to remember and imagine that there is a path other then violence that leads us home!

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Holiday Habits: Movies & Dogs

Holidays, a time to kick back and enjoy friends, family, food and as many movies as possible!!  A few years back we started the tradition of going to a movie on Christmas day.  We found we were not alone!! I am always amazed a the lines and all the people who come to see a movie on Christmas.  I thought it was a Seattle thing.  But even here in Montana where generally a movie is not packed,  on Christmas day Whitefish broke all of it’s records for movie attendance.  For me the entire holiday season is a wonderful time to catch up on all the good movies.  So it starts Christmas day and continues through the week if there are enough good films to see.  I have to admit it is a bit harder here in Whitefish to find enough films but this year I am behind and so I do have a solid series.

Today we plan to go see Avatar.  A movie with a mix of reviews.  Of course the Sci-fi folks are thrilled, as are the lovers of special effects.  I have even heard from some more serious film types that the storyline is one that spurs the viewer to thoughtful consideration of the world we live in.  All I am really certain of at this point is that it is the sold out show here in Whitefish and Kalispell and that is not something that happens to often!

Yesterday’s movie was less popular.  Up In The Air, has been around a while.  Still I doubt it was ever a Montana favorite.  I liked it.  May be because my life keeps me up in the air a lot.  Although I rarely travel alone and I am not close to any major mile markers.  Still I was all too familiar with the insider travel talk as well as being someone often hired to tell someone bad news because someone else is not willing to do it.  What I liked about the film was the fact that it became obvious that Clooney’s character had no personal life; however, was amazingly real and effective in his job.  My favorite scene was when told the guy his kids should be disappointed in him – not because he was fired but because long ago he gave up his dream – french cooking.  That scene was awesome. He was real, honest and gave the man a path to get his life back.

In the end I liked the non-Hollywood conclusion.  He didn’t get a girl, nor totally transform to some new guy, instead he connected to his family through giving away miles, he gave the awesome recommendation that got the girl the ‘right’ job and went back to doing what he did better then most people. I’m glad firing or laying off people did not become an ichat process.  There were a lot of messages in that movie worth considering.   So far the best film of the holidays – but I still have the week ahead.

In case you are wondering what happens to Bailey with all the movies.  Bailey is spending every third day at Stoltle’s where he is having the opportunity to play with a variety of dogs who are all teaching him more manners then I had been successful at doing.  He seems to love it and sleeps like a baby afterwards!  Also Bailey and Sooke are slowing become better pack mates.  Of course Sooke still rules and must sleep on all the beds, steal the toys and get the first chew on any chew bone; however, I am noticing she sleeping closer and leaving things behind more freely for Bailey to enjoy.  I am confident they will soon be buddies!!  In the mean time I am going to the movies!!

Life Experiences

A Day of Complete Rest – Sounds Easy!

It is a time of year where I generally have amble material to write about.  The holidays stir up so many differences and traditions, family and relationship issues that I am rarely at a loss for a good rich topic to explore.  Maybe it’s this cold I have or maybe it’s Bailey; but this year I am just not rising to any thoughtful dialogue.  It’s true I have not read about fights of saying Merry Christmas vs Happy Holiday, or stories of airports having to take down Christmas trees because of religious unfairness so either the world is re-focused on more important issues or I have become a bit insulated here in Montana.

The biggest challenge I am facing this Christmas is a serious, unrelenting cold and a puppy that needs constant supervision.  Truthfully Bailey is learning faster then this cold is letting go.

The cold came on over a week ago now.  Every time I think I have turned the corner and I go to do some relatively simple activity like bringing in wood or walk in the woods,  suddenly I am back to square one.  The hardest part is at night, I can not stop the coughing.  Plus my mind kicks in and I start to wonder if this is H1N1 and  if I should go to the doctor etc., etc.

I have not had a bad cold in a very long time and I think that is part of the problem.  I am really no good at curling up in bed and resting, drinking fluids and otherwise doing nothing.  I told myself if the cold was back today that is what I was going to make myself do.  Bailey was going to Stolte’s for a play day and I was going to stay in bed and do nothing.

I do wonder why a day of complete rest so so hard.  I have never liked having to stay in bed.  I wouldn’t say I am an A-type personality.  Because a lot of my activity is not results oriented.  It is simply that I don’t like being sick, down, or may be the real word is helpless.  I do hate feeling helpless and being sick is just too close that feeling word for me!   Even when I was really sick (cancer, chem – sick) , I would force myself to put on my running gear and step out of my door as though I was going to run.  I never ran (likely walked a block or two)  but somehow I felt less helpless and in control if I could at least make the effort.  Even then being in bed all day was not easy.

Well it’s 6Am I woke myself up coughing and I went out to chop some wood and felt lousy.  Found enough already cut to come back in quickly.  All indicators point to me taking the day off.  I’m try to tell myself it’s okay to do nothing, especially if that is what will get rid of this cold!

I want to be healthy by Christmas.  I think a day of bed rest would help.  That means not even going out for lunch at the Green Tea House or deciding to run and pick up some needed supplies.  No my mission should I choose to take it is complete bed rest.  Movies, books and maybe a better blog then this will come out of it.  But most importantly allowing my body to totally focus on kicking this cold!!  Wish me luck!!