January is getting off to a fast start!  We kicked off the year with our own week of visioning and planning.  I’ll add our vision boards here because they were fun to create and I think captured each of us, meaning CrisMarie and I, as the unique people we are and our interest together.

We’ve also been into the final edits for our book, The Beauty of Conflict, Harnessing Your Team’s Competive Advantage!  It is exciting and it has been a journey!  We are hoping to launch in March!!

We have a number of team client gigs happening.  We were up in Victoria working with Biocybernaurt.  What an amazing team of folks with quite an awesome offering.  This company works with neurofeedback and assisting people learning to tap their alpha brain waves to work through trauma, problem-solve and take the learning into their lives.   We’ll get a chance to try the technology and I am sure looking forward to seeing the possibilities!!

Soon we’ll be heading to the east coast to work with SkillsUSA.  I love their mission: to empower its members to become world-class workers, leaders and responsible American citizens.  At this point in our country this is really needed and timely!

We’ll also be continuing with Wolfe Mining – we love these guys and grateful to get to keep working with Terri!

There are a number of other opportunities brewing.  CrisMarie is doing more executive coaching in PNW area. Plus we are committed this year to having on-going FREE trainings in the area of Having Difficult Conversations!  As well, I’ll be offering series of Build Your Mojo: Get Unstruck (the first one starts February 21!) and BE Brave is on the schedule and you’ll be hearing more!   There will be two Find Your Mojo in Montana dates!  (the first one in May!!!)

So lots happening with thrive!

I am also excited about being at the Faculty/Assistants Weekend happening starting this friday at The Haven.  I love the energy of having faculty and assistants join together and engage in ideas, connection and ways of continuing to energize The Haven!

So there’s a lot.   Sometimes I can feel a bit overwhelmed and spin in too many directions.

I admit with the book, our different blog post and regular 406 articles, I find keeping up on my personal blog quite challenging.  Also my own writing project can take a backseat to everything else.

It is is hard to keep my focus and ensure I am addressing the right priorities!

What I have learned is that even though I resist structure – structure really does help.  I had planned at one point to have my word for the year be inspirited.  I like that word.  However, I think I will be better served to have my word be Structure!

There are many dreams I have for 2017.  I am also aware that aside from all that is happening in my world – there’s even more challenges/opportunities facing my country, the globe.

I don’t want to just spin around the sun this year.  Yes, I will be journeying around the sun as I have done now for many years.  But I am planning to make this year fun and productive.  I think that calls for some structure and a bit of discipline as I go.

I will keep you posted.  If you want to join CrisMarie and I for a FREE training visit and like our FB page at #THRIVEINCMT.

You may also be wanting to ensure you get unstruck and moving on your dreams  and goals – if so – check out Build Your Mojo!!

Finally, be sure to find your way to The Haven.  There’s tons happening there!  Take a Come Alive, join Carole Ames and I for Living Alive Phase  1 in April, bring you and your partner to a Couples Alive.  These are just a few of the options!

The year is moving and as my good friend, Linda Nicholls said recently it is time to Awake Up and Grow Up!  I wasn’t too fond of the comment at first.  I may have interpreted her statement as a need to be more adult-like.  But I have to agree – it’s time.  Doesn’t mean I have to leave any parts behind – but I do need to take responsibility and not assume it’s anyone else’s job to deal with or make space for what matters to me.

I’d love to hear from you – what’s on you plate for 2017!  If you have a word or plan for 2017, let me know!!

I am not good at finishing!  As a very immediate person, I get myself distracted easily.  The strength of this personality trait some might say is adaptability.  Although I am not so convinced this trait is a strength.  There are too many signs of unfinished failure that haunt me to think otherwise.  My book, scattered pieces on countless computers.  My closet, always piled with clothes. You might think I never do laundry!

These are just some current day indicators of this ‘strength”.

No, I think there is something else all together at work here.  Myself, I have come to believe, Polly, my procrastinator is the real instigator of my unfinished mastery!

Polly, has been an important protector of me over the years.  Believe or not, her amazing efforts have kept me from humiliation and criticism many times. Her ability to stall, distract and avoid detection has been valuable but may be a bit over done these days.  At other times in my life, writing and sharing my story was dangerous.  My messy, chaotic presentation kept me well under any radar and able to avoid getting too far out into the world where I might create problems for myself.  Yes, there was a time in my life where Polly served me – but not so anymore!

The problem is Polly remains on high alert!

Let me give you a bit of a day to day look at how Polly shows up in my world now.

I decide I want to write this quick post about procrastination.  I start typing and decide it would be good to look up the word procrastinate.  As I am googling the various definitions and diving into the root of the word, I discover a variety of interesting headlines about procrastination.

One,  Two Harvard Professors Reveal One Reason Our Brains Love To Procrastinate (I take a quick look but find it boring).

Two, I find  Later, a New Yorker article about a Nobel-prize winner’s relationship to procrastination (which I find much more engaging of course it starts with a cool story.  Plus, who doesn’t want to be compared to a Nobel Prize winner?!) and finally, a TED Talk by a known pre-crastinator who took on the task of learning to procrastinate because he missed out on a big investment opportunity by quite harshly judging a couple of his students who he wrote off as losers due to their procrastination who in the end made millions.

While Polly has found relevant information thus far, she doesn’t stop there.  Soon I am reading political headlines about our upcoming presidential election, which reminds me that I need to call someone about our upcoming weekend program Find Your Mojo In Montana.  So I get on the phone. Then I realize I’m hungry, and we have nothing for dinner. So I get ready to head out the door to the store and think,  why not take Rosie to the dog park? She needs the exercise.  I better grab a snack before I go. So I wind up making a shake. Needless to say I am soon far, far away from finishing the post and focused in a totally different direction!

Why is Polly protecting and procrastinating this time?!

Polly means well.  She loves the rapid intake of information, with a preference for quick reads and engaging activity.  She loves gathering random bits of information and finding common threads.  She is also very immediate, meaning if she gets bored she’s moves on – thus the inability to read through the Harvard article and get some tips on how to be any different!!

This is not an uncommon course of events for me and Polly!  Sometimes I love the variations and distractions.  But Polly and I have had  to develop a better working relationship.  This day’s activity though demonstrates relationships aren’t about being perfect!

However, I have  worked on this relationship with Polly for a while now.  I have now discovered a path to keep Polly engaged and entertained, while getting things done. (Don’t tell Polly!)

My relational efforts with Polly are the foundation for my new Building Your Mojo program is designed to help people like me develop their own working relationships with parts of themselves that are stopping them from reaching their fullest potential.

See Building Your Mojo Program!  is the outcome of how I have learned to relate and develop a much better working relationship with Polly.  I am putting her various skills into practice so that instead of stalling and never crossing the finish line, I am moving and making progress!

Not everyone has a Polly, but most of us do get stalled along the path to some of our most important goals.  That doesn’t have to happen!  There is a way through!

I ran the beta test last month with a fabulous group of folks and got some great feedback.

I have been on shut down for four years due to several traumas. I was suffering from depression, anxiety and I suspect some PTSD. I participated in Susan’s ‘Build your Mojo and Accomplish Your Dreams’ for a few weeks and found it to be really inspiring and I did actually put my foot back in the water. The whole idea is about living the best life you can and this experience has opened my mind up to possibilities I thought were no longer available. I am currently volunteering and thinking about spending a few months in Mexico. A huge step for me and all due to Susan’s leadership and suggestions.

Jude

I am now launching a new program. Click this link to learn more.

I love the group sessions because these sessions are interactive and engaging.  But I also get that there isn’t always time to dive in and work more individually with someone when things come up. I found people really got value out of having some one-on-one time to help them work through their Polly issues.  So I am offering a coaching package alongside the four week group sessions to give you personalized support. You can find it on the same page.

I love that I’m finding a new job for Polly!  What better way than to use all of her ample skills than to help others transform their procrastination and tap into and build their own Mojo to move through blocks and stalls. She’ll be answering emails, coaching people, and prepping and delivering the live classes, or running the store or checking Facebook.

If you already know you have your own inner Polly to work with – well check out Building Your Mojo on our thrive! site!  Don’t procrastinate – sign up now!

I’d love to play and engage in online learning and relating with you!

I love leading, teaching and learning in groups whether it’s a Haven program, or our Be BRAVE Women’s group, leading a team transformation offsite with a business team, or speaking to an entire organization. I love the live, face-to-face contact.

For a majority of my career, I have been a firm believer in face-to-face interactions as the best way to create transformational experiences and learning. However, times have changed and much of life these days takes place online and with people miles (may be even countries) apart. This is true in organizations, on teams, in families and even for couples. Life happens from a distance. Sure I love my face time and that is no longer required for developing trust, intimacy and transformation.

Having now participated in a number of online learning programs, I have developed friendships and connections that are as life enhancing has those that came from face-to face group experiences. As a member of a working team, I have found I can stay up-to-date and clear with colleagues moving significant projects forward and never or rarely getting together in person.

This week, CrisMarie have been delivering week four of our Be BRAVE class to a great group of women,  coaching sessions, webinars and radio programs, all from our home in Montana. That’s been great because not only have we gotten feedback that the work as been solid and powerful – we get to hang out at home with our dog, Rosie!

Why am I writing about this? Because in about six weeks, Haven’s Living It program is due to start with a weekend intensive on Gabriola. Living It! Is the first and only blended, meaning in person and online program,  Haven has offered.  It kicks off with the Haven magic of engaging in a circle on Gabriola with an awesome staff creating a great container for transformational learning and then continues for two months after online through webinars, groups and an online community site. Last year was our pioneer group. We were small but dedicated and worked our way through the challenges of technology and being the first!

Over the many years I have been at Haven, I have heard people speak of the challenges they face going home. Having had an intensive experience with deep connections and trying to figure out how to maintain that aliveness and engagement once back home in their ‘real’ world. I know it can be a challenge. In part it is why I am so committed to Living It! I know there are other paths at Haven like Staying Alive and Haven Coaching that can and do support the integration process. But I love the idea of meeting the challenge of integration while still in a program. In other words, taking Haven back home for a period of time and really having the support to try things, check in and try again!

So this blog is a really an ad! If you know that Haven has been an awesome transformational path for you and you have been challenged or want to bring more of that Haven magic back to your ‘real’ life, then consider signing up for Living It! It is powerfully helpful whether you have done just a Come Alive or the entire phase series.

Click here to learn more and sign up.

I do believe this is the next level of self-responsible relational living – being able to relate and create intimacy in person and online!

Join us! You’ll be amazed at how your life improves!

My theme for this year is Living Well Together. 

I jumped into 2016 taking a program called Passionate Ease with Dr. Lawrence Conlan in Boulder, Colorado. One of his messages that stands out to me is his constant reminder that “Resistance is the way.” He means to enlightenment.

I know, right?!

Spiritual Awakening

This is a radical concept in the realm of spiritual awakening. I confess, I have not been interested in spiritual awakening. Over the years I have stayed far, far away from programs and paths that hint of transcendence or what I judge to be spiritual by-pass. Let’s just say, I don’t like experiences that encourage moving beyond this human experience without owning up to it!

Conlan’s mantra is radical in the world of spiritual seekers, and it’s also been the message at The Haven for well over thirty years.

The Haven has always been about creating richer connections with ourselves, each other, and in our communities. Not through transcending but through becoming curious and fully engaged in living well together, just as we are. In other words, being human, accepting the messy, and fully realizing the spiritual in each of our human beings – embodied!

Enlightenment or Embodiment?

So for me, Conlan’s message isn’t about enlightenment – it’s about embodiment!

But what if those two concepts really were not that different!

That is something I am very curious and interested in pursuing! Which brings me to my current theme for 2016: Living Well Together.

This is a Haven tagline. One that presents as quite simple, yet I find there are many layers worth exploring.

Fractures and Gaps Between Us

First there’s the obvious. As our headlines and news stories reveal, we aren’t really living all that well together these days. There are so many fractures and widening gaps between countries, cultures, sexes, races, people and even us and our planet!

Why is it so hard to live well together?

I am a believer that what happens on the outside is a simple a reflection of the inside!

Meaning living well together isn’t just about me, living well with my neighbor – no it’s also about be living well with all of me – the many parts of me.

For example, when I attempt a new challenge, some part of me is excited and feels courageous. Then there is another part of me that is full of self-doubt terrified of failing. Often, I want to banish that part of me. It is unattractive and gets in the way of me moving forward confidently. It is my resistance in moving forward. This is the part of me that is often difficult for me to accept, yet, both of these parts are inside me and need my attention and care.

Accepting and Embracing Me First

Most of the time, if I am honest, I have an easier time living with my neighbor than accepting all the messy, scary, unattractive parts of me.

The project of living well together is first a project about embracing and accepting my unattractive, uncomfortable parts. Then, I have much more room for embracing and accepting other people.

It is easy to see all the pain and separation in the world and think that is the problem. I do agree that there is work to be done “out there.” However, I find that the outside work is much more effective if it first comes from the inside out.

Living Well Together from The Inside Out!

Join me in making this year one that is about living well together – both inside and out!

I’m imagining some of you spiritual seekers have already clicked through to the Passionate Ease Retreats. Of course, I recommend one of Lawrence’s programs.

I am also assuming many of you were intrigued about having richer connections and stronger relationships so clicked through to The Haven and Come Alive.

Whichever, gets you started – just do it!

Especially if you notice any resistance because indeed resistance is the way – to embodiment, enlightenment, AND, most importantly, to living well together – from the inside out!

All of you who follow my blog know that I have tremendous love and commitment to The Haven and the core programs there.  Indeed, I turned my life around there, and still after thirty years continue to learn, grow, and get my beliefs and stories challenged and expanded by leading and taking programs at The Haven.

However, as much as I love The Haven, it’s really not the place, the faculty, or all you folks who come to Haven that have been the reason my life is transformed.  Sure, I love being there with you all, but the bottom-line is that it wasn’t five days of a Come Alive or various month long programs that made me different.

No.  It’s an on-going, never-ending commitment to Living It – that makes the difference.

Learning is great.  Places that support and create a wonderful environment for exploring and discovering are awesome.  The Haven is certainly that place, but if you can’t take those lessons home or back to work, it’s just a wow! experience.  Nothing wrong with wow! But for me, the test is how I live what I learn everyday!

I often hear someone say in a program – “I can’t be like this back in the real world!!”  I challenge that idea because really Haven is the “real world.”  Still, I do understand that it is easier to try something new when you are outside of normal or familiar.  I would agree – The Haven and Gabriola are that for me.

I think the real work does come when you get home.  As I have often shared – fighting cancer was a hell of a lot easier than living beyond it!  There was a charge, a fight, and an easy choice when I was dealing with cancer.  When the fight stopped, it was harder to keep making choices for my own aliveness.  There’s a risk and an edge to that type of living.  Still, I do think it is what living is all about!

So if you took a Come Alive or a Phase and you have struggled to Live It  back in your ‘real world.’  Join Toby and myself to talk about that challenge.

Sunday – August 23 at 1PM PT on a webinar.  Register Now! You can also take the challenge of joining us for the new Living It Program starting Sept 10th.

Whatever you decide I would love to hear from you. How do you Live it, meaning how to you take what you learn and apply to yourself, your life, your relationships or your work? Tell me.

A few weeks ago, Robin Williams took his life.  It was sad day and a tremendous loss.  Of course, it was Robin Williams, so the media was full of stories.  Most suicides or suicide attempts aren’t like that.  Most aren’t so public.

I spoke to someone recently who struggles with depression and suicidal thoughts; they were saying how scarey it was to hear that someone like Robin Williams killed himself.  They felt quite vulnerable since in their view he had so much and he still couldn’t stop himself.

All I kept think was how many times he had!

From what I have heard and read, Robin Williams fought those demons daily or quite regularly.  Seems to me there were many, many more times he chooses to live than too die. And he did finally lose that battle.

When you lick cancer once it’s consider a remarkable win.   Facing suicide over and over and choosing in – well that most count for something.

I told my friend this and they smiled.  They hadn’t thought of it like that and reported feeling better. I’m not sure if they will kill themselves. I hope not.

Still I do get it.  Life is unpredictable and sometimes painfully hard to endure.  Depression is a dark lonely place and choice seems far, far away when you are in it.

Still there is a choice.

I have wrestled myself with despair.  Not sure I’d call it is quite the same as depression.  But when I bump myself into that space it isn’t easy to shake.

I’ve run many miles and eaten a few too many bags of chips trying to numb my monster. Sometimes the numbing helps and the pain passes.  Sometimes I can take a wild ride and wonder if it wouldn’t be better to quit.

Under all that pain there seems to be a little girl who simply doesn’t always like how we as humans treat each other.  She doesn’t like playing the game just simply to win and often doesn’t really even get why that is so important.

It can be as simple as being accused of cheating at Ladies Golf League and suddenly I find myself spiraling.  Probably that seems so small.  But I joined the League to have fun and when it seems like the game is more about winning than relating, I can lose my faith.

I’ll get it back.  I generally rise after I fall.

But I get it.

When faith is lost – faith meaning the felt sense of the continuity of life or a knowing that I matter, we matter and we are connected.  When that is totally lost, it is hard to choose.  Hard to find a good enough reason to go on.

Until someone reminders me that some little words of wisdom I might offer made a difference – like how many times Robin Williams said yes to life instead of no – and that helps.

It restores my faith.

My demon, despair,  settles and I carry one.