We just returned from Part II of the Couples Alive series, The Edge, at The Haven Institute in BC, Canada. In addition to being a part of the design team and leaders of the Couples Alive series, we are also committing to taking each part of the four part series as a way to deepen our relationship and ‘walk our talk’ so to speak.
I found the trip to The Edge quite enlightening. By saying that, I am not saying it was easy.
When we created the design for Couples Alive II, The Edge, we had talked about the idea of creating experiences that first allowed people to visit their own edges and then meet as a couple at the edge. That all sounds good, but it wasn’t until I found myself spiraling down into an OLD family of origin hole that I realized just how successful we had been at finding a good way to get people right to an edge. I won’t say I enjoyed revisiting the past; however, it was a great way to see how my ‘story’ of the past still influences and plays into my current relationships.
It was also amazing to get the opportunity to understand how our histories meet at times for a somewhat wild ride in the present.
Of course, for each of us, the edge can be quite different. There’s the situations from our own life experiences that can bring us to the edge and there’s the tension that occurs in a relationship when I want to be ‘me’ without risking losing ‘us’. There’s the soft spots that are hard to expose and there’s the conflict that occurs simply because we are unique and have differences.
Finally, after discovering many edges and meeting edge-to-edge at various points in the workshop, we closed by being reminded of that deep longing which bought us together in the first place.
Apparently, it’s simply human nature to want to find someone who has your back and who is also willing to journey to the edges, together.
I came home more committed and more revealed. Knowing I had work to do on my patterns, but was excited about the commitments we each made and the opportunity to put new learning into our life back at home and in our work.
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