We are preparing to lead the next Couples Alive I & II, April 15-19 and April 19-23. These programs are part of the Couples Alive Series that is offered up at The Haven. We love leading these programs!! One, because we get to work together and two, because we can deeply engage with people who share our passion for relating, loving and living with a partner, friend and lover on this human experience journey.
In preparation for the Couples Alive I: Foundations – Communication & Boundaries, I received a call from someone who was considering the program. They shared that as individuals and a couple, they were deeply skilled in psychology and relationship skills and were wondering if this Foundation program would be the best choice. The easy answer was to simply say it was required. (Which is true – but I am never fond of getting a ‘rule’ thrown back at me. So I wanted a better response.)
When we were designing this series as a three couple team, CrisMarie & I, were quick to volunteer to take all of the series as participants when each program, I, II and III was launched. We wanted to fully emerge ourselves in the material both as a way to prepare for leading and also to test our theory that the models and material is powerful and useful for couples at all stages of relationship.
Indeed, when we took each of the programs, we had no problem using the tools and experiences offered to explore the landscape of our relationship. Though I have close to 30 years of experience teaching the communication model, I always find rich new depth in applying it to my own world and relationship. That one model alone is the best tool I know for peeling back the layers of my life and bridging the gap between my world view and that of another. Besides there really isn’t ever an end or finish-line when it comes to intimacy. I know I am always evolving, involving, shifting and sticking and there’s enough discovery there for a lifetime. As a couple there’s infinite possibility.
I also reflected on the couples who had been with us in the Couples Alive I, Foundations that we have led. Again, I was struck by the variety and diversity. We have had newlyweds to couples married for over 40 plus years. We have had same-sex, heterosexual, monogamous and poly-amorous couples all in the same group. We have had couples who were thinking of separating, who live a part and one couple, that was separated but wanted to try again. Yes, there has been an amazing scope and range in the couples who have been in the Couples Alive I, Foundations program.
It works because we designed it so that the couple gets to work on their issues, whatever they may be. Concepts and models are introduced (or refreshed). Then the truly rich possibilities come through applying these ideas within the container of each unique couple. The models are simple, universal and deep. They can be utilized at any stage in the life-cycle of a couple: from romance to power-struggle through to co-creation, over and over again.
Add to that, the opportunity for couples to learn from and share with other couples and the possibilities are endless. One of the richest parts of the series is watching couples learn and grow through simply knowing they are not alone, the the couple journey is really not a formula. It’s alive, organic and riddled with highs, lows and status quos. Sometimes, the best learning is simply that there isn’t really something wrong!
Yes, the Couples Alive I is called Foundations but it isn’t simply for those Couples just starting the journey. Foundations are worth exploring anytime. Come and join us!!
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