Monthly Archives: August 2012

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Sexy, Alive & Loving at The Edge

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In the past month my life has been busy, alive and very engaging.  Through the month I have also been doing my best to stay open and loving in my life and partnership with CrisMarie.  Because we have each been doing things separately that stir up our creativity and call on us to ride waves and risk falling, our day-today living as included fighting, laughing and clinging.

As CrisMarie stepped more fully into Nina and the show was such a big success.  I had both the thrill and threat of hearing just how sexy people thought she was on stage.  I watched as she bought her aliveness to the part, to the team and to each show.  I sat with her when she cried on closing night.  I listened as she expressed her fears that she wouldn’t get another part like that.  I held back my own fears of being left behind for another starring role or some sexy guy and that was simply the first two weeks of August.

I didn’t even mention my riding of the waves as I headed off to Columbus and took the lead with in a room of Presidents.  Or dealt with my demons while writing pieces for my book, that may take 10 more years to write.  I have already mentioned the various stages of transition I have been traveling through this summer. So no need to say more.

Indeed it has been a journey.  As the show ended and we boarded a flight to Toronto for a major week of work with one of our clients, we were both wondering if we would be able to rise to the occasion.

We did.  The week went quite well.  Though we had been working separately as we came back together there was a grace and ease that made the week enjoyable.  It’s what we love.  Being co-creative and working together from our respective strengths.

We then traveled to the other side of Canada to Gabriola to lead Couples Alive II, The Edge.  How perfect was that!!  We had been living at that Edge for months.  Though I would not have thought of it that way.  As we went through the week, working with a group of couples, we drew upon our own lives to reveal humanness, realness and aliveness that comes when relationships are about both being together and being each ourselves.

Loving is a verb, it’s active and fluid.  Loving at the edge is like surfing or riding waves.  Sometimes our life does feel like we are on a bigger boat and the ride is quite stable.  Other times I imagine us on a small racing sail boat – much faster and far less stable.  And there are those times when we are on individual paddle boards – riding the waves separately while staying close and heading in the same direction.  I can even imagine times when one of us is sitting stable on a boat while the other is surfing some big wave.  That to me, is loving on the edge.  Being willing to ride the waves – together.  It isn’t always easy.  I do get a touch jealous when my sexy partner is alive in her life and I am not on that same wave.  Still I do enjoy watching and know it isn’t about her shutting down her sexy self.  No, it is about me being willing to step out myself and trust that we can both ride the waves.  Meeting and loving at our respective edges!!  Sexy, Alive and Loving!!

Life Experiences

An Olympian Takes Her Stage

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Tonight CrisMarie’s show, Looking opens. This is her fourth show and each part has been more challenging and interesting. This time the play is about middle-age dating. CrisMarie is the sexy, somewhat defended police officer, who isn’t looking and of course …. well I don’t want to give anything away.

Community theater actors and directors are truly inspired folks. Without any promise of a pay check and a small support staff, the actors/director, spend weeks in rehearsal, build the set, move it into the theater (a full day job) and take it down at the end. Not to mention, sell ads and get show sponsors. Indeed it takes a lot to put on a show.

Back on the home front, my job is relatively easy. Make sure everything at home runs smoothly. For the most part that isn’t to much to ask. However, I notice as opening night gets closer, I see less and less of CrisMarie and much more of Nina. Living with a sexy, defended police officer isn’t all bad. At times she’ll share how she trying to relate to a piece in the play and all too often I find myself laughing because in my mind she is so like Nina!! I have heard many of those lines directed at me earlier in our relationship.

I like this play. I read it early on in rehearsals and found it smart, funny and very engaging. Sure I can get a little jealous knowing there are some passionate moments where all that passion is directed towards someone other than me. But honestly, I enjoy seeing CrisMarie, alive and embodying her passionate and sexy self.

Truth is the hardest part is watching how hard she can be on herself. She’s an Olympian and that same energy that makes her an elite athlete gets channeled into Whitefish Montana’s community theater. She expects GOLD. So of course when she’s less than perfect, she’s back to running lines, practicing and making sure the next time she takes the stage, she’ll be ON.

This is what it’s like BEFORE the show opens. Once the show begins, well, that focus is even greater.

Fortunately for me, I love live theater. Each night is different and I can see a play many times and enjoy the different energy. However, I do have my own anxiety about how well things are going. Do people like the show? Is CrisMarie on? Are they laughing enough? The worst is when I come with friends because I want them to like the play and especially CrisMarie. Of course none of that is really any of my business.

This show is running right alongside the summer Olympics in London. I doubt CrisMarie has even noticed. She is so involved in her Show. But for me, I watch the Games and think about the fact, this too, is a stage she has played on. What I love most is that I know she puts the same heart, soul and dedication into both. For her, theater is just another team sport. Just like rowing, she knows the job isn’t just for her to shine but for her to do everything she can to ensure the four stars of this show work together to deliver a strong performance each night!! She will do her Olympic best to make sure that happens. That is just who she is.

So tonight instead of the Olympics I will be watching CrisMarie take the stage in Whitefish, MT. I’ll likely be just like family and friends of those Olympians. Holding my breath and hoping for a strong performance.

That’s what is cool about being married to an Olympian. Be it a local play or a national stage, she will give it all she has and I will be proud!!!

Go Team USA and go Team Looking!!