I had to get this update out. AI is just too verbose. Was pretty sure you’d never get beyond AI initial response. So I asked for a summary in less than 40 words. Here it is:
AI: Humans’ distinctiveness arises from complex language, cognitive prowess, self-awareness, cultural structures, tool use, emotional depth, creativity, and symbolic thinking, culminating in unparalleled adaptability and innovation, setting them apart in Earth’s tapestry of life.
ME (edited) : Story-Telling and Story Making
Now for the main focus of this post – we need to change. Edited the rest as well.
We tend tell our stories as though we are the greatest. We likely have trained AI to make us sound that way as well.
That we can remember and tell stories over time is awesome. However, the degree to which we believe our stories as truths can and does cause a great deal of separation, pain, and suffering.
But what if we could dial back our need to be right, win, dominate, compete. I didn’t say get rid of – just dial back.
Maybe if we simply dial back our certainty.
It’s not what is known that is going to create sustainability; it’s actually embracing and stepping into what is unknown.
However, doing that demands letting go of control, safety, and certainty.
I’ve been developing my relationship AI. So I hought I’d ask AI what makes us humans unique.
AI Answer: Humans possess several characteristics that set them apart from other species:
Complex Language and Communication: Humans have developed intricate systems of communication, including spoken and written language, allowing for the exchange of complex ideas, emotions, and knowledge.
Cognitive Abilities: Humans exhibit high levels of cognitive abilities, including reasoning, problem-solving, critical thinking, and abstract thought. This allows them to innovate, create art, develop technology, and adapt to diverse environments.
Self-awareness and Consciousness: Humans possess self-awareness, the ability to reflect on their own thoughts, feelings, and actions, and to recognize themselves as individuals separate from others. They also have a sense of consciousness, allowing them to perceive and experience the world subjectively.
Culture and Social Structures: Humans create and participate in complex social structures and cultural systems, including institutions, norms, beliefs, customs, rituals, and traditions. These aspects of culture shape human behavior and identity, fostering cooperation, coordination, and collective learning.
Tool Use and Technology: Humans are adept at using tools and developing technology to manipulate their environment and solve problems. This capacity for tool use has enabled humans to adapt to diverse habitats and thrive in various ecosystems.
Emotions and Empathy: Humans experience a wide range of emotions, including joy, sadness, fear, anger, and love. They also demonstrate empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others, which fosters social bonds and cooperation.
Capacity for Innovation and Creativity: Humans possess a remarkable capacity for innovation and creativity, enabling them to develop new ideas, inventions, and solutions to challenges. This creativity is expressed in various domains, including art, music, literature, science, and technology.
Symbolic Thinking and Abstract Reasoning: Humans engage in symbolic thinking, using symbols, language, and abstract concepts to represent and manipulate the world around them. This ability underlies many aspects of human culture, communication, and cognition.
Overall, it is the combination of these characteristics—language, cognition, self-awareness, culture, tool use, emotions, creativity, and symbolic thinking—that makes humans unique among Earth’s species.
Okay – we are awesome – right?
Makes for a great story.
I’m not as robust in my data collection as AI, so my answer to that question about what makes us unique is simpler: story making and story-telling.
Our imagination and cognitive abilities have made us great.
It has also bought us to a point of possible extinction.
I do know I personally am not getting out of here alive. But I’d like to think humans could continue long after I’m gone.
However, I think it is going to take some humility and collaboration for that to happen. Not just with each other but with all living beings.
We tend tell our stories as though we are the greatest. We likely have trained AI to make us sound that way as well.
That we can remember and tell stories over time is awesome. However, the degree to which we believe our stories as truths can and does cause a great deal of separation, pain, and suffering.
Isn’t that often the case. A super strength is also an Achilles heel.
But what if we could dial back our need to be right, win, dominate, compete. I didn’t say get rid of – just dial back.
Maybe if we simply dial back our certainty.
It’s not what is known that is going to create sustainability; it’s actually embracing and stepping into what is unknown.
However, doing that demands letting go of control, safety, and certainty.
I am just back from an awesome Dr Joe Advanced Follow Up in San Diego. I am enjoying my days with Dr Joe and a couple thousand other people – meditating, walking and doing awesome coherent healing sessions.
It’s funny, in my first Dr Joe retreat, people were asking, “When did you start this work.”
My reaction was often: “What do mean by this work?”
“When did you start with Dr Joe?”
“Back in June 2023”.
“Oh so your new to Dr Joe.”
I so wanted to react. I monitor myself and say, “Hey, I guess”
Then stop sharing and, yes, have some judgemental thought.
These days that doesn’t cause a stir, nor even any judgement. I know I started the work to change my life forty years ago and Dr Joe is simply the most recent unknown opportunity in my growth and my becoming project.
His message is not all that different than what I learned at my first Come Alive.
Life is all about becoming present and staying present.
That really is the only path to rising conciousness and getting better at living well together.
It’s about wholeness and being able to relate to the world around me. Share my tears, fears, laughter and joy. Listen to the stories, songs and sounds of others.
I found this trip I knew a few regulars and that was cool. I met new folks and that was cool.
I openned my heart and gained some new knowledge. Very cool.
It was awesome and I am looking forward to how the experimenting there comes back into life here.
I am a new self. Because we are always creating. I want to be conscious in that process as much as possible and that takes a lot of willingness to be responsible for the reality and experience I am having.
You know that saying, “With power comes great responsibility.
Power does come in presence. It gives me choice moment to moment. It’s great when I am enjoying the outcomes and I think it matters even more when I am challenged and tossed into the uncomfortable or unknown.
I am growing to like the unknown. The mystical and magical moments. Those just aren’t possible when stay to much in the familar.
Take a step out of your box. You’ll come back and hopefully a little different.
In my first Come Alive, 40 years ago, this short passage was read:
The velveteen rabbit asks the Skin Horse, the oldest and wisest of the toys, “What is REAL?”
“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse.
“It’s a thing that happens to you. ….
“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.
“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. …
“It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse. “You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.
Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”
The Velveteen Rabbit by Margery Williams
Today I am real, and I am still becoming.
I am so grateful for the skin horses (i.e. Come Alive leaders) that helped me commit to being real.
I am older, wrinkled and loose in the joints and it still hurts sometimes. I even have some sharp edges and at times think I should be more carefully kept.
Haven, Come Alive, Couples Alive coupled with ongoing breathing and a commitment to intimacy and growth over comfort and looking good, make the effort worth it.
Now I often feel like the Skin Horse.
Let’s be clear it’s not like this road to being ‘real’ is for everyone. However, being able to access my loving even when it hurts is the only back home.
I do my best to bring Haven everywhere I go. It’s not always easy. I don’t do it perfectly. But nothing else has been as effective and fulfilling to practice and believe in as the core tools: the communication model, resonance and breathing into sensation instead of trying to get rid of the uncomfortable.
Out in the world, it is easy to get focused on doing and achieving.
Often this becomes more about control and looking good then being vulnerable and human. (Real)
Underneath all our bells, whistles, dollars and technological advances, we humans are still just an amazing, delicate, living, breathing, vulnerable mess of cells, organs, tissues and energy.
All the armor won’t take away the pain, the uncertainty or reality that we are basically here to become ‘real’. All the ‘power’ in the world does not ever take away the vulnerability.
However, an open heart and an open, awake mind is like a candle in a pitch-black room. It does light a path.
I’ll be at Haven in late May with CrisMarie for Couples Alive, leading a Come Alive just after and Couples Alive II in September.
I encourage to take your next step to becoming ‘real.’
I am inspired by Tracey Chapman and this isn’t the first time.
Best moment of the Grammy’s was when Tracy Chapman joined Luke Combs to sing Fast Car.
That was a magical moment on so many levels. White guy, county singer and black woman, musical legend.
I watched the clip of Luke Combs talking about his reasons for redoing the song. He loved the song, grew up listening to it and it was one of the first songs he played. That’s something.
I’m not a music star, country or otherwise. However, Tracey Chapman sure did influence my life and her song, Promise, was one of the first songs I sought to learn on the guitar.
Tracy Chapman I believe has inspired many. Her songs speak to the soul and connect, across devides.
Now that this moment has happened, I am sort hoping Tracey may make more musical appearances.
Sounds like she is a special woman who lives a life out of the public scrutiny. Maybe not now. With people just learning she lives in ________ (don’t want to add on so just ___) . Her solitude might be shaken. I hope not.
I have a story that she is still writing songs and music. Maybe even playing for non-advertised audiences.
Her song writing and music remind me of my own writing – yes there are books and articles for press, public and broad consumption, but that’s not why I write and I am guessing never why she wrote, sang and shared.
I write because it’s sooths an ache or fills a deep need/desire to connect and not be so alone.
I don’t know for sure but that’s what I saw on that stage the other night. Two amazing singers, worlds a part in many ways – bridging through a song. All of us getting to share in that special moment.
I wish could invite her to the stage here in Whitefish, MT. Wouldn’t that be cool.
Maybe that’s a LONG shot but in the meantime, I have gotten back out my guitar and I’m practicing my favorite Tracy tune: Promise.
No worries I won’t share my version with you but here’s a Tracy version:
I am designing my Lead Alive program and I want your feedback. Of course I am excited about my write up and this offer. But more importantly would you be!
It’s designed to become an in-person program but will get it’s legs and wings online starting this February.
What I want to know from you:
Is it too much to start with embracing cracking? Would that scare you off?
Do the pain points speak to you?
There’s a long list of potential ideal clients – what’s missing or is that too much?
This is all part of my Experimenting project. Thought I would ask for your help. Also this online program will wrap in our new Beauty of Conflict Journey – so running over 2 or 3 months.
Here’s the write up:
Leading Alive Through Embracing Wholeness
Have you ever considered that embracing the seemingly crazy or cracked parts of yourself might be the key to unlocking immense benefits in your leadership journey?
In the face of life’s battles, some more severe than others, it’s essential to recognize that the pain you experience is not meant to break you; instead, it’s an opportunity to break you open.
Imagine opening up to fully experience the cracking, acknowledging that it is through those very cracks that light can penetrate, illuminating aspects of yourself that may have been hidden.
Challenge the common beliefs that may be holding you back:
“I have to conform or hold back to succeed.”
“I have to sacrifice myself to please everyone else.”
“I have to do everything myself for it to be perfect.”
What if these beliefs were simply lies? What if conforming, fitting in, and people-pleasing were the sources of your pain, burnout, and suffering?
The path to transformation lies in opening up to your whole self. By doing so, you unlock the following qualities:
Increased confidence
Heightened compassion
Better ability to set boundaries
Improved openness to listening
Enhanced ability to connect deeply
Have you observed that those who shine and are enjoyable to be around are often the ones most comfortable with who they truly are?
Join this workshop to walk away with a transformed sense of yourself. Experience the freedom of finally being your authentic self. Develop the courage and desire to speak up and ask for what you truly want.
Target audience
Leaders and Executives:
Those in leadership positions seeking to enhance their leadership skills and authenticity.
Executives looking to create a more inclusive and compassionate workplace.
Professionals Facing Burnout:
Individuals experiencing burnout and seeking a transformative experience to break free from limiting beliefs.
Entrepreneurs
Business owners and entrepreneurs aiming to lead with authenticity and connect more deeply with their teams.
Individuals in High-Stress Environments:
People working in high-stress environments who want to cultivate resilience and improve their well-being.
Those Seeking Personal Growth:
Individuals on a personal growth journey looking to explore and embrace different facets of themselves.
Team Leaders and Managers:
Leaders responsible for managing teams who want to create a positive and open work culture.
Anyone Interested in Authentic Living:
Individuals who value authenticity and want to live more aligned with their true selves.
This workshop is designed to cater to a diverse audience seeking personal and professional development through an exploration of authentic leadership principles.
Every year I like to come up with a word or phrase as a theme for the year. This year’s theme or word is EXPERIMENTING.
This word came out of a strategic session CrisMarie and I had for our launch of the Beauty of Conflict Journey. This has been a project started over a year ago and now moving out into the world
What I like about this word is that it implies a level of curiosity that I believe is critical for joy and aliveness.
Experimenting also has a touch rigor and practice implied as well. When I am experimenting, I do start with some assumption and then try things that may or may not improve or provide insight into where to go next.
We knew what was most important for thrive! and the new Journey was going to be successfully marketing and getting the message out.
However, sometimes marketing feels overwhelming. I don’t know how to cut through the noise. There are so many people saying to this, do that, be sure you don’t do this or that.
Measure, measure likes, new leads, thumbs, thumbs down, and if you are not getting results, (i.e. likes, sales or leads) do something different.
I am sure there is some nugget of truth in all the suggestions. Although I know I don’t live openhearted and inspired by tracking likes, leads, thumbs up or sales.
So, when one of us came up with the theme: Experiment marketing thrive’s Beauty of Conflict Journey, my heart relaxed, and my brain woke up with possibilities.
It seemed only natural then to use Experimenting as my personal word for 2024.
This word inspires me beyond our business. I am experimenting with a bunch of new community activities: contra dancing, Uke jam sessions, a book club and these all showed up as invitations just after I picked my word, and I said yes!
I also watched my niece Carolina, do this amazing Instagram Live when she found herself unable to run a cooking class because of blizzard like weather. In a short 20-minute Instagram Live she taught us how to make Savory Oatmeal. OMG – it was awesome. I was inspired.
Now I am going to give Instagram live a try. Once a week I am going to come online and share, show, practice some type of breathing, movement, or personal development tip.
I am sharing a short video here to kick off for friends, family and followers hoping some of you might join at: https://www.instagram.com/thriveinc/ when I go LIVE next week.
Join Me Next week live follow us on Instagram for notification: https://www.instagram.com/thriveinc/
I am still deciding on the day. I likely will be experimenting starting with Monday or Tuesday and I’ll send a post as a reminder on our site. Be sure to follow us.
Remember experimenting is a great way to be curious and vulnerable. Let’s have some fun together.
Let’s be clear the home address is Whitefish but in 2023 we were back on road. Kicking it off in January on a road trip to Calgary to be a part The Cowgirl’s Code: From People Pleaser to Cowgirl Confident. That was just the start. We visited Los Angeles, Arizona, Atlanta, Denver, Ohio and that all before April! From there it was Gabriola, Toronto ( a couple times), San Fran, Austin, and Denver again. Those were our work travel.
For fun we were in Cancun twice, Indiana, Denver, Portland, Seattle, Olympia, and Quinn’s Hot Springs.
I know I thought we’d travel less. However, we loved our work and our experiences.
Our Big Launch
What we’re most excited about from 2023 is the completion and launch of our Beauty of Conflict Journey – available now on GetRali.com. Here’s a link and you request a demo session with us. https://www.thriveinc.com/boc-journey
More Personal
On a more personal note, I loved both Come Alive programs I led this year. One was at the Haven and the other up North and was a cool mix of Come Alive and our thrive work. These were special because I didn’t try to control everything. I loved the team leadership and having a plan but being ok going off road.
Come Alive Teams
Some of the challenges:
• My mom’s dementia is worse, and it is much harder to connect. She’s happy and in a great location. But not always great for Facetime or Zoom. The good side of this part of my life is that I am more connected to my sisters. We have weekly sister calls and sometimes those are hard, but we listen and work it through. • Lost some good people this year. Chris Reid, Scott Reid (a brother and cousin of my brother-in-law Rob Reid), David Raithby, a true Haven friend and facilitator. So many lives taken in Israel/Gaza/Ukraine. Plus, Tina Turner, Jimmy Buffet, and Tony Bennett. • ZuZu got attacked in our woods. She did recover faster than me and yet, it was hard.
Lessons and Learning
The biggest investment we made in our development this year was engaging fully in the Dr Joe Dispenza world. We were at two Advances in Cancun and a Follow-Up in Dallas. I loved discovering this work and the experience of doing coherent healing sessions with thousands of people. AMAZING!! Also, the work was so aligned with my journey and transformation at The Haven. Never thought I could meditate for 5hours straight – yep – that’s two 5-hour sessions are in the books.
Walking Meditations & Ocean Swims!
A Few Best in Categories I like:
Best Read: Lessons in Chemistry Best Movie: Barbie (but will say Boats in The Boy was a close second) Best Podcast: Loved talking to Oscar on listening and most recently Dr Romie Best Peloton Ride: Body Appreciation – 30 minutes with Christine! Best TV: Unstable – a delightful surprise! Best Music: No way could I just have one song – here’s a link to my top ten and it was hard to stop at 10:
My 2023 Top 10
I keep thinking of things to share or add. But I want to get this out. Because I encourage to do your reflecting and sharing.
Next year – 2024 – is almost here. Not only that, but it is gong to be happening fast.
My intention for this year is to embrace the unknown and enjoy the moments when opportunity knocks.
I am all in and believe it is going to be awesome!
I learned sad news last week while traveling. David Raithby, a fellow Faculty member at The Haven, had passed away suddenly.
I admit I was stunned by the news. David and I go way back. Yes, we have had our differences, our conflicts. But David was one of kind and someone who truly believed in the Haven.
He was a remarkable man and great facilitator who cared deeply about people and healthy relating. Even in our differences I respected his words, his heart and commitment to life, living and being human.
I so appreciated the piece he had written days before his death which was shared with the Haven community by his family. The piece spoke to what seemed like the freedom he had found in life and the fullness of a life well lived.
Now home for a spell. I find myself wondering. Why? Why are so many gone. Why don’t I feel sad in their passing. I do feel deeply for his family and their loss. But sometimes when a life seems so well lived, shared, and connected to all around, I don’t cry or feel despair.
While other deaths and tragedy’s leave me in deep despair.
I don’t know any of the children in Gaza that have died. But I have cried as I read stories of children screaming in pain in the bombed hospital.
I don’t know any of the Israeli families holding out to see the return of the hostages or who are sending their own family members into war. But I felt deep sorrow for the fear they carry for always living with a belief that they are targets of hate.
I don’t directly know anyone who has lost their home or family through the war there or in the Ukraine. Yet, those stories fill my heart with pain and deep sorrow. The loss of life so tragic and the situation so irreconcilable.
I do believe there is beauty in conflict. Even in what can seem like irreconcilable conflicts.
However, when the divide has become religious or political, the humanity seems to get lost and there are only sides, enemies, and righteousness.
People lives become numbers. No time to bury the bodies. To be together and honor a life too short or one well lived.
The pain just stays, and the conflict and divide grow deeper. There becomes only agony and pain. Hate
This is why I don’t care much for religion or politics. The right or wrong of the many paths all seeming to come from the same point of origin.
So many wars have been fought. So many lives lost.
For what.
I know many will say for freedom. But I can’t help but go to the words of Nelson Mandala:
“For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”
Not sure we’ll ever get there through religious or political beliefs.
Though I imagine based on David’s words – he got there.
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