Tag Archives: connection. coaching

Not Broken. Not Alien. Human

My message today is this: we are wired to relate to connect and to bridge and live well together, using our differences, our pain and our stories to make contact and know we are human – not broken and not alone.

I’m an Equus Coach, for me that means that I partner with horses to support my clients in becoming more embodied (aware and utilizing ALL their resources – body, emotion, spirit and mind) and are congruent in their communications. and relationships (meaning the inside matches the outside).


Horses do this naturally. They are keenly aware of their environment and rely on their relational skills to keep themselves safe as well as all the other members of their herd. Horses are not about power and dominance – they are about building relationships that create a powerful network for each horse in the herd to stay alive and well.


Don’t you wish, we has humans did more of this?


For years, I have been engaged as a program leader, therapist, coach and consultant to encourage and help people develop stronger and healthier relationships with themselves, with their partners and out in the world. My journey in discovering how to relate through being more vulnerable and curious started in circles at The Haven, a personal growth center in Canada. What I learned there transformed my health and life. Literally I was dying when I arrived. ( that’s a longer story). I believed that my willingness to engage with vulnerability in curiosity allowed me to become more intimate (in-to-me-see) and relational with the world. The project was humbling, at times hard and is one that is never ending. Thus becoming a relationship coach was a natural way to not only support my journey but to help others discover the possibilities when we work to live well together.


What I know for sure is that the quality of my life is way better when I am not defending, protecting or simply surviving. Now I will be the first to say, I still struggle with being vulnerable. I resist. However, with the horses as I walk through a herd, I relax. My defenses drop. I become more present.


So of course it seems only natural to want to use the resources I have found most helpful in my journey to help people who may be facing some of the barriers and roadblocks i have faced. Like health challenges, childhood trauma, being dyslexic and wrestling constantly with the underlying belief I am either broken or an alien.
Having now been working with hundreds of people, I know I am not an alien. The many circles I have been in and stories I have heard that all have underlying similar themes makes it clear I am not alien – I am human. As humans, a big part of our journey is to discovery how to use our unique storytelling abilities to bring us together not take us a part. Oddly though we do seem compelled to make this very difficult.


Thus the challenge.
So why am I telling you this.


If you can relate to a deep desire to connect and struggle with something in you that stops that desire from being expressed fully in the world. I think I can help.


I’d love to hear from you. Sure you hire me as a coach or you can just write me back let me know your story and struggle.


I’m just wanting to work to keep finding ways to get my message out there. My message today is this: we are wired to relate to connect and to bridge and live well together, using our differences, our pain and our stories to make contact and know we are human – not broken and not alone.