I had great plans for reviewing, reflecting and sharing some of my highs and lows from 2017. But snow fall (lots of snow fall), fun and the holiday spirit pulled me away from my computer and out into Whitefish with family, friends and complete strangers enjoying powder and chair lift lines on the mountain!!
My plan was to either skin up the mountain to ring in 2018, or cross country ski, to put in my first 2018 workout.
I went to the Glacier Nordic Ski Hut to rent my cross-country skis. I stepped into the small hut with at least 10 others waiting to get geared up. I heard, “Well, we’re out of most of the women’s boots.” Frustrated, I stepped back out of the hut. It wasn’t going to be X-Country skiing for me this New Year’s Day!
I didn’t bring my downhill ski pass, nor had I put my skins (traction material you put on the bottom of your skis to climb UP the mountain) in the car. My big first 2018 workout wasn’t happening! So I headed home.
I opened my computer and decided I was going to write my way into 2018.
In many ways it was perfect.
I always imagine myself as being the great outdoor Montana woman: fit, toned, and ready to ski through the trees, skin up the mountain, or go horseback riding through the snow. But really, I’m not that Montana woman.
Yes. I ski, mostly the groomed trails and in the powder, when we get snow storms like we have this past week.
Yes. I can skin up the mountain, but I am much more of a ride the chairlift up gal these days.
Yes. I love my riding lessons but galloping through the snow isn’t happening anytime soon. I’m working on trotting in the arena right now.
So it was perfect that I wasn’t able to ski the trails or skin the mountain to kick-off the new year.
Instead, I sat down to write. Though I dream of being that uberfit, physical Montana woman, at my core, I’m closer to myself and my heartbeats when I am writing than when I am working out.
Don’t get me wrong. I plan to ski, skin, and go horse back riding on Bella (or Floyd) out in the snow at some point. But writing is truly the path where I get to know myself.
It’s not that easy to admit, but maybe this is the year when I don’t have to prove myself physically. Maybe this year I simply get to enjoy who I have become.
I like that I’ll go ski or skin the mountain to meet people and not be concerned about struggling to keep up. I get to just enjoy the workout and not be afraid to be the last one up.
And about that horseback riding…
The truth is I have more fun with the horses when I’m in round pen on the ground working with someone on their relationship issues than I do riding horses. I’ll continue to work on my riding because that too is relationship building. But my real heartbeats come from introducing more people to the amazing mirrors and heart-openers horses can be when we aren’t so focused on them but letting them mirror us!
So yes, it’s perfect I am writing my way into 2018. I think my writing is what will be most vital for me this year.
I’m already published author, which has been on my bucket list for many, many years! I’m so proud of our book, The Beauty of Conflict out into the world Oct 31st!
Now, that means it’s time to deliver my more personal story, Crazy, Cracked, Warm and Deep. Not necessarily to be published (Oh, my that feels like too much pressure!) but simply to be completed. It’s all there just waiting for me to pull the pieces together.
It is time to stop running away from myself and settle into the wonderful woman I am; to let my inner light shine.
Indeed, there are no accidents that I couldn’t ski, skin, or ride into 2018. No. This year is about writing!
I believe it has been my writing that has helped me become self-responsible, relational and build connections and community over the years. Not my athletics or my exercise.
I may have wished athletics was my way, but in truth it’s not my legs or my muscles that make be great. It’s my heart and vulnerability that provide and reveal the best of me and that usually comes through when I am writing or working with horses!
P.S. My 2018 word for the year is COMMUNITY. It does seem perfect that writing is the way to ring in the year!